Page 61 of Falling Back to You

By the time our plates came, I knew all the juicy bits going on in town after dark. But I wasn’t just a rabid consumer of gossip—I had some of my own. Like the fact that Evan Jackson was a pussy. And all the unexpected canoodling that took place at Fancy and Edison’s housewarming.

My mother cut into her omelet. “Why is Melodie out here bad-mouthing you?”

“Is she?” I traded my salt for her pepper.

“Yes, she’s telling anyone who’ll listen that you’re a son of a bitch. Which, as you can imagine, I take exception to.”

“She’s probably saying it ’cause it’s true. I thought I was ready to move on, but I was wrong, and Mel got caught up in the middle of that. If I were her, I wouldn’t have a kind word to spare.”

“Why do all the women you date end up hating you?”

“I think it’s ’cause I’m a momma’s boy. Women hate that,” I teased.

“If you don’t love your momma, you can’t love anybody.”

“Well, I love my momma, and I still really suck at romantic relationships.”

“You can’t let one broken heart keep you down. Dial and you have been moping around Hume like you had to shoot Old Yeller between the eyes. Just tell her you still love her and get it over with.”

“I’m coming to the conclusion that maybe I’m not the man Dial deserves.”

“Don’t be silly. She’d be lucky to have you.”

“That’s because you think I’m perfect. I’ve been trying to force Dial to love me in a way that makes sense for me. But maybe I need to be loving her in a way that makes sense for her.”

My mother’s fork stilled as she considered my words. “Young love is tough. Sometimes that love is so deep, so pure, it wrecks you. Especially when everything is new and each experience is fresh and exciting. I imagine you were Dial’s first everything. Most people don’t know how to successfully navigate the growing pains that come with loving a person into adulthood. And we end up disappointed and hurt when they no longer resemble the individual you fell in love with. Loving Dial your way worked for a while, but now she’s a woman and she wants more. You need to decide whether or not you’re ready to give that to her.”

“I feel like I have one last shot and I don’t wanna mess it up. I love her. Hard stop. And my life has not been the same without her, Momma.”

“Your daddy and I were high school sweethearts too. I know what that type of love feels like, and the hurt that follows when it doesn’t turn out like you hoped.”

“What are you talking about? You’ve been married for over thirty years.”

“Oswald, you are too grown to think a thirty-year marriage doesn’t come with some serious ups and downs.”

She was right. I’d witnessed my mother compromising more times than I could count, raising us kids with little help from my father so he could live out his dreams of having his horses on the silver screen. Going to parent-teacher meetings, hosting birthday parties, and even attending my junior high graduation alone. If my mother ever had dreams of her own, she gave up on them a long time ago. My whole existence had been about following in my father’s footsteps, but the last person I wanted to emulate in my personal or romantic life was him.

“I’m fine with ups and downs. But it’s important to me that Dial gets to be the person she’s destined to be. I get that relationships come with give and take. But I don’t want her letting go of all the things that make her special. Her determination, her fierceness, her slick mouth. She has to know that she’s safe with me. That I’ll never ask her to shrink herself or take a back seat. That she can be exactly who she is in this moment and my love will always be there.”

“You need to be telling her this.”

“I know it.” When Dial was standing in front of me, I’d lose my train of thought. It was like my mouth had been unplugged from my brain. And everything I wanted to say came out wrong.

“You know, I saw her a few days ago. She is such a stunner. I don’t know why she insists on wearing those dirty overalls.”

“She works with soil and dirt. It’s kind of an occupational hazard.”

“I told her I missed having her around.”

“She probably appreciated hearing it.” Knowing Dial, she’d smiled politely while looking for the closest exit. “You don’t have to play matchmaker.”

“Word is she’s been spending time with Shelton Krause.” Mom wrinkled her nose. “Can you imagine? He has a weak jawline.”

Biting into my toast, I just nodded.

“What are you going to do when she marries him or someone else?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”