Page 92 of All Yours

The ticks went blue instantaneously. The reply was immediate.

Erin: Love to. x

Chapter Fifty-One

Robyn

‘You okay, lovely?’ Wren asked on the Friday night, putting a hand on Robyn’s across the table after dessert at their house. ‘You seem a bit down.’

She’d dragged herself to Rosie and Wren’s house for dinner, where she’d caught the two women exchanging concerned glances over her head more than once. Robyn squeezed her friend’s hand back and prayed she wouldn’t cry.

‘Just a bit tired probably,’ she lied.

It was true that she’d slept badly all week and the face that stared back at her in the mirror that morning was pale and washed out. Her hair was lacklustre, her eyes dull. Robyn couldn’t believe she’d fallen for it again: she’d allowed herself to feel something for a man and then he’d left her behind. Her eyes constantly burned with tears she would not let fall. Fox was not worth it. Men were not worth it.

The realisation had finally hit home that Friday morning, when Robyn picked up her phone to message Fox and see if he wanted to get together that day. As she had done on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Three days she’d given him the benefit of the doubt. Three times she’d put her pride to one side, in the hope he might want to see her, but he didn’t. He had obviously got what he came for and now he’d had enough. She should have recognised the signs earlier. Let’s face it, men didn’t want to stay with her. And in Fox’s case, not even for longer than a few weeks. Just when she thought they’d really connected, that she really liked him. She’d put her phone down slowly and sworn not to message him again. Ever.

‘Was it to do with seeing Finn again?’ Wren wanted to know. ‘Turning up like that out of the blue? Must have brought back a lot of bad feelings and memories.’

‘No, actually, it was good to see him in a way. Closure and all that. In fact, we walked him to the station earlier today. He’d been staying with Ross for the week. But he’s properly gone now.’

‘Good,’ said Rosie. ‘So now you’re free to move on with your life.’

Robyn managed a nod. Funny that she felt so stuck then, like the same thing kept happening over and over again.

‘Apparently so,’ she agreed.

‘Let’s go and get comfy then. Will you stay tonight?’ Wren asked as they moved to the sofa. Sinking heavily into its depths, Wren immediately put her feet on Rosie’s lap, who warmed her hands with a brisk rub and began to massage Wren’s feet and swollen ankles.

Robyn glanced over to where Willow was kicking happily on the rug while Riley entertained her.

It was such a different Friday vibe to the ones of her past. Instead of banging DJs and full-moon parties, there was soft music on the speakers, the lamps were lit and the curtains drawn. It was funny to think of the street lights and tiny cobbled streets of Honeybridge outside, rather than jungles or plains or beaches.

And instead of strangers and acquaintances, Robyn was with Wren and Rosie and the children were playing together.

And suddenly the phrase ‘moving on’ meant something quite different. It seemed Robyn’s whole life was moving on: her needs, her wants, the things that made her feel happy and safe. They had all changed ever since Willow. Ever since Fox had come into her life. She sighed deeply and caught Wren and Rosie looking at each other again. Wren cleared her throat.

‘Rosie and I wondered if you’d be back this way next year at any time?’ Wren asked.

Robyn shrugged, half wishing she would be, which was a strange kind of thought in itself.

‘Probably not. The project in Botswana will take me until the end of the summer, and then who knows where I’ll head next.’

‘It’s just that if you were back in Honeybridge at any point, and could let us know, then we could plan the twins’ christening for then,’ Rosie explained. ‘We’d love you to be there.’

‘Especially seeing as we’d like you to be their godmother,’ Wren added.

Robyn sat bolt upright.

‘Godmother?’ she whispered, taken aback.

‘Who else?’ Wren asked, smiling.

Robyn’s eyes stung with tears, again.

‘I’d love to be their godmother!’ she said, laughing and crying at the same time. ‘Are you sure?’

‘A hundred per cent.’ Wren nodded. ‘You’re such a good positive role model. Brave, independent. Strong. Between you and Walker, who’s going to be their godfather, they’ll be in safe hands.’