Page 89 of All Yours

‘Robyn,’ Fox mouthed, adding to Millie’s confusion.

The receiver crackled into life again. ‘So, you got this place with your job? Pretty cool!’

‘I know, I really lucked out. I don’t even work for him any more, but the guy I used to work for is letting me crash here until I leave.’

Again, a noise of agreement from Robyn, followed by the sound Robyn always made after her first sip of alcohol. She didn’t drink much but Fox knew she appreciated good wine.

‘And who was that guy, the silver-haired one, earlier in the restaurant?’ Finn was asking.

Millie shook her head, as if knowing they shouldn’t be listening, because now it was obvious that Robyn and Finn were talking about Fox, but there was no way that Fox could stop. His stomach felt empty even though they had just eaten.

Robyn’s voice was clearer, as though she was speaking directly into the monitor on the coffee table. ‘Oh, that was my ex-boss. Fox.’ It was a throwaway line, as though he were the milkman or the person who delivered her parcels.

Millie waved her hands now at Fox and mimed to turn it off, but he put a finger to his lips and shook his head. He had to hear more. He had to know.

Finn laughed out loud and Fox imagined him sinking into the sofa next to Robyn. ‘That explains why he’s still letting you live here! He obviously likes you. He was all protective, like a big bear.’ Finn made a growling noise and laughed and Fox felt an actual physical pain when he heard Robyn laugh too. Millie’s eyes burned into his, questioning, across the landing.

‘Nothing going on between you then?’ Finn asked. Fox’s heart stood still in his chest.

‘Me and Fox?’ Robyn said. ‘No. Nothing at all.’

Fuck. Fox put a hand to his head.

‘Anyway, we’re off soon, aren’t we? Botswana, here we come.’

Millie took the two steps to the monitor and fumbled with the buttons, clicking it into silence even as Finn laughed at the other end. Fox blinked at Millie, feeling too much at one time to be able to process any of it. Fuck, fuck, fuck. We? Botswana, here we come? Were Robyn and Finn going together now?

Millie wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in for a tight hug.

‘Oh Fox,’ Millie whispered into his chest. ‘I knew you were getting in too deep.’

He sighed, breathing out slowly, feeling his shoulders drop as he let go.

‘I saw the way you looked at her in the park that day. You couldn’t take your eyes off her.’ She squeezed him even tighter and he nodded silently in acknowledgement. ‘You’ve talked about her all night. It’s not just the boys she’s had an impact on.’ She rubbed his back soothingly, and he let his head rest against the top of hers. ‘I’m so sorry.’

He wished above everything that he hadn’t heard. Nothing good comes of eavesdropping. Curiosity killed the cat, and all that. He’d hoped that maybe he could like someone again. For many years, he’d not believed it could happen.

‘I wish you could find someone as right for you as Meg again,’ she said and that somehow made everything even harder to bear. Because maybe, just maybe, he thought he had. Even if it was just a short-term thing, he’d felt optimistic that he could move on with his life. He closed his eyes.

‘Why don’t you concentrate on someone who is staying in this country?’ Millie said. ‘Like that Erin you were talking about at work?’

He knew she was trying to help, to distract him, but he wished she would stop talking. Nothing at all. Nothing at all. Robyn’s words echoed in his head. He straightened and Millie held him by the elbows to look into his face.

‘You okay?’ she asked. Her blue eyes, so like Meg’s, were clouded with concern.

‘Of course.’ Fox forced a smile. ‘You know me. I’ve been through worse.’

Meg rolled her eyes and they both laughed, even though it wasn’t particularly funny. But as they walked into Reggie’s bedroom, Fox couldn’t help but feel as though he’d been played. That he couldn’t trust the things he’d thought, or hoped, or believed. All Robyn wanted was a good job and a free house, a place to stay until she moved on. The secrets they’d shared and the connection he thought they’d made, all the time they’d spent together, it was nothing more than fun and games. Really, he meant nothing to her. Nothing at all.

Chapter Forty-Nine

Robyn

Robyn checked her phone again for the tenth time but there were no new messages from Fox. She’d got used to having a morning message from him. Originally, it had been a long missive with instructions and directions, even down to the point of which car park was easiest for the swimming pool. That had morphed into more casual, friendly reminders if clubs got changed or cancelled, or invitations to join him and the boys for dinner. Most recently, they’d included a lot of emojis, winky faces, aubergines and horny devils. Those were the ones she’d looked forward to the most, although all of them had made her smile.

It was funny because when she’d woken up this morning and realised she finally had closure on her past, the first person she’d wanted to tell about it was Fox. She knew he would understand how important it was to come face to face with Finn and ask him why he’d left her all those years ago. Fox always listened to her, really listened, when they talked. He rubbed his stubble sometimes as he contemplated something she’d said, and it would make her want to rub his face against her cheek, to feel the sting on her skin.

But she’d messaged him first thing, and he hadn’t replied, which was unusual. In fact, it wasn’t just strange for Fox not to reply – it was unheard of. He always replied and always straight away. He was very dependable like that. Probably because she’d been looking after his children, and he worried, but it was a good trait. He was always there.