Page 77 of All Yours

‘Don’t worry. I know where there’s a layby, we can sneak in the back.’

‘Oh, amazing! You’re the Fox who saved Christmas,’ she said and he laughed.

Ten minutes later, they were parked up and climbing over a fence into a corner of the common. Fox carried a saw, dangling from his hand. The grass crunched under their feet, still not entirely defrosted. Their breath plumed in front of them as they walked briskly towards the trees. Although they could hear some children shouting, there didn’t seem to be many other customers in this part of the forest.

‘I don’t need anything big,’ Robyn said. ‘It will just be me and Willow after all. And we may go round to Wren and Rosie’s for the afternoon, which will be lovely.’

‘We’re off to Millie’s this year,’ Fox said. ‘We alternate normally, since . . .’

‘It’s good you’ve got family around you,’ she said, unfazed. ‘It was only ever me and my mum, and then after I was eighteen, I went to Wren’s or Finn’s for Christmas.’

Fox glanced at her, unsure as to what to say. He hadn’t heard her mention her mum dying before. Surely it would have come up in conversation? He wracked his brains, but nothing.

‘Where was your mum then?’ he asked, slightly awkwardly.

‘Oh, she left to go travelling when I was eighteen. Obviously she thought she’d devoted enough of her life to raising me by then, so she went to South America. Lifelong dream apparently. Would have gone when she was eighteen if she hadn’t got pregnant with me.’

Robyn tried to smile at him, but there was no warmth in it.

‘Wow. So, how long was she away for?’

Robyn shrugged. ‘Oh, for ever. She’s still there.’

Fox felt his mouth fall open and snapped it shut.

‘I’ve seen her a couple of times since, don’t worry,’ Robyn said. ‘But I think she thought I should be all good by then. A grown-up. So, she cut me loose.’

‘I just can’t imagine. No disrespect, but I want to be around for my boys until the day I die. Especially seeing as their mum can’t be – through no choice of her own.’

Robyn nodded. ‘Me too, for Willow. I know what it feels like when people choose to leave you.’

Fox realised just how much she’d been hurt again, by her dad, then her mum, then her fiancé. Robyn bit her lip, blinking rapidly, and he had an urge to put his arms around her. But even with all the bodily contact they’d had over the past few days, that sort of comfort felt a bit much, more like a relationship – and that would feel like cheating, or like he’d be betraying Meg. Fox glanced around frantically and pointed at a small, perfectly formed Norway spruce.

‘What about that one?’ Fox asked, to distract her. She circled it slowly before giving it the thumbs up.

‘Perfect,’ she said gratefully. ‘Thanks.’

It was an easy job with the saw, only taking a couple of minutes.

‘One down. One to go,’ Fox said. He slung the tree over his shoulder and led the way deeper into the forest, where the firs were taller and the ground soft with needles. It was quiet and shadowy and peaceful.

‘What about you?’ Robyn asked him. ‘What were Christmases like?’

He inhaled the scent of the pine and smiled.

‘When I was a kid, they were great. There was never much to go around, but we had fun. My cousins all came over. We played charades or card games and then set fire to the Christmas pudding.’ He hesitated. ‘Don’t tell Walker. Fire safety and all that.’

She laughed and he felt relieved, until she asked her next question.

‘What about when you were with Meg?’

That stopped him in his tracks, images flashing through his mind.

‘Meg loved Christmas,’ he said, smiling. ‘All of it, every last tradition. So we’d go carolling, and send Christmas cards and make mince pies weeks in advance. We didn’t have much money so we’d make paperchains in front of the television in the evenings for the whole of December so that by Christmas Eve we had miles of the things and could decorate the whole flat.’ He laughed. ‘There was always lots of tinsel, I remember. Meg loved shiny things. Our Christmas tree was more silver than green.’ He shook his head and sighed and Robyn reached over to squeeze his forearm.

‘That sounds perfect,’ Robyn said.

He felt the lump in his throat and swallowed. ‘It was,’ he agreed.