Page 81 of Icebound

I catch her right as she whirls around. Tears carve her mascara-streaked face. Dammit, I made her cry. Regret tightens my chest. I gently tip her chin upward. With my calloused thumb, I brush the black trails from beneath her eyes.

“Hey, I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m mad at my father, and I took it out on you. I always get like this around him. You’re not too young, I’m just an asshole.”

She lets me pull her into a hug, and her body molds into my chest like a perfect glove fit.

“You’re not an asshole,” she mumbles into my shirt. “But that was an asshole thing to say.”

I gently sway her in my arms. “Called out, like always.”

“Maybe I overreacted. I kind of do that when anything minorly inconvenient happens.”

“You didn’t. You just reacted to my shitty comment.”

She rubs her face against my button-down, but I don’t care if she gets makeup on me when I’ve got her in my arms.

After a moment, she stands on her toes and kisses my jaw, right on the edge of my mouth, and I’m tempted, so damn tempted, to turn my head and capture her mouth with mine, but this needs to end. I need to find someone who wants the same things I do.

She lets her lips stay there for a second before sinking back down to her heels. My skin feels like it’s burning where her mouth touched.

“So, I guess this is goodbye? You sure you don’t want to come up to my room for round two? We could have shower sex? Keep it casual,” she teases. At least, I think she’s joking. I can’t tell because her voice is all high-pitched.

Fire rushes to my dick at the idea, but my brain’s in charge tonight. As much as it hurts to say goodbye, I need to let this girl go so I don’t tie her down with the life of a hockey player. I stroke her cheeks because I want her to know she means something, but I’m not going to be the asshole who strings her along until I meet the woman I marry.

“As much as I want to do that again, and believe me, I want to… I can’t do casual, Nina. I’ve been there, and that’s not what I want. So, unless you’re ready for marriage, or something long-term, I don’t know if I can do this.”

She steps back to wrap her arms around herself. “No, you’re right. That’s not what I want. I’m not ready for that yet, and I knew this was a one time thing.”

I kiss her forehead, breathing in her cinnamon scent, and commit it to memory. “I need you to know something, though… If you were older, or I were younger, I'd never let a girl like you go.”

Her eyes look like they're welling up, but it could be the streetlight reflection. “The person you end up with is going to be one lucky bastard too, Rhode Tremblay…” She steps back. “But can I, uh, ask you something? Before I go?”

“Always.”

She nibbles her thumbnail, rocking on her heels. “Did you buy out the extra seats around us at the hockey game so I'd have space?”

My back stiffens, and I debate lying because I don’t want her to feel like an inconvenience, but I’m tired of lying to her, and myself. “Yeah, but no one was using them anyway. Why?”

“Nothing, just... Thank you. No one’s ever done something like that for me before. It means a lot.”

That pisses me off for no reason. She deserves more. “The person you end up with should do things like that for you, Nina. That was the bare minimum.”

“Maybe for you.” Her lips twitch into a smile. “Well, thanks for being my blueprint.”

I don’t like knowing she’s going to compare me to other men, but I give her a two-fingered salute. “Anytime.”

When neither one of us attempts to bridge the distance between us, I force myself to let her go. “Goodnight, Nina.”

A corner of her mouth lifts. “Don’t have sweet dreams. Have wild ones.”

I go rigid. “You heard that?”

“I listened.” She lifts a casual shoulder, making an air circle with her finger. “Big ears, remember?”

She walks backward into her apartment, never taking her eyes off me. I don’t leave until the light flicks on in her bedroom window, and even then, I still stand there for a few moments, looking up at her window and watching her shake out her ponytail.

“Goodbye, beautiful girl,” I whisper into the night.

Nina’s not naive, but there’s an idealistic way that she views people. She stands up for those who need it because I think, maybe, she’s always had to fight her own battles. I’ve always stood up for people who earned it on the team but never the ones who didn’t.