Page 37 of Icebound

“I don’t care.” I hitch my backpack over my shoulder. “Let’s just agree to never speak about that again. I have to go.”

“Where are you going? I’ll drive you if you need a ride,” she offers.

“Thanks, but I’d rather watch a slow-motion video of grass growing than sit in a car with you.”

I start to spin around, but she shoves a brown paper bag in my face. “Wait, please? I overheard you saying you had to pick up your prescriptions, so I figured I’d do it for you. I know you have class on Thursdays, so here.”

I exhale a deep breath, feeling weightless for a second. The looming thought of running out of my medication always adds to my stress, even if I don’t take them every day. Gwen knows this because she knows me, but sometimes, I wish she would stop doing nice things, so I could hate her in peace.

“You didn’t have to do that.” I reluctantly snatch the bag from her grasp. “But thanks, that was nice.”

Awkward silence grows between us.

“So, how’re things with Rhode?” she blurts.

I wave a hand, keeping it vague. I’m never talking to my sister about my love life again. “We’re kind of fighting right now, but he’s completely obsessed with me, so we’ll be fine.”

She doesn’t need to know the sexy-as-sin hockey player is currently treating me like radioactive waste. Gwen extends her arm like she’s going to touch my shoulder.

I cringe back. “Stop. What’re you doing?”

“I was going to hug you.” She lets her hand fall.

I nearly gag. “No. We don’t hug. Ever.”

Her smile wilts. “Fine. Do you want to talk about it? I know I said he was too old for you, but I still want you to be happy. What happened?”

There’s no way I’m telling her the truth, so I make a sarcastic comment instead. “I said his dick was only nine inches instead of ten. He didn’t like that.”

She snorts, then slaps a hand to her lips like she’s embarrassed by the noise. “A ten inch dick? That sounds painful.”

“No. It’s amazing,” I drawl. “He actually hits my G-spot, unlike other romantic partners.”

She rolls her eyes but smiles. “Really? Because I’m convinced the G-spot doesn’t actually exist. There’s no scientific evidence.”

Gasping, I grab her shoulder on instinct. “Did I tell you about the time I slept with this guy, don’t worry, a rebound, and he said it was all about the curve of the finger. He fingered me for like an hour, an hour, Gwen, and then I got in my own head about it because I felt like it was taking too long, but he kept saying I had to push through to have some earth-shattering orgasm, which I never did. I just felt like I had to pee.”

“Holy shit. That’s happened to me too.”

We blink, then burst into a fit of giggles. Our laughter echoes in the courtyard until we notice every eye on us. The weight of those stares drags me back down to the moment, reminding me that I'm laughing with my sister.

That’s forbidden.

I clamp my lips together. “We’re not supposed to be laughing.”

“Why? Because you hate me?” She arches a microbladed brow. We both share the brow-arch gene, and I started doing it to match Gwen until it became a habit, and now I can’t stop.

“Exactly.”

“Hate me all you want. I’ll still love you.” A soft smile spreads across her lips. “And don’t think I didn’t notice that you called me Gwen and not Gwendolyn.”

I stare at my nails. “Did I? You must’ve heard wrong.”

“I heard what I heard.”

I want to ask why, if she loves me so much, she slept with Isaac, but maybe love has nothing to do with her choice. Maybe it was all based on lust. After all, they’re completely separate emotions.

Only the luckiest of people find both in one person. Isaac had neither. Rhode is all lust. In the corners of my heart, I know Isaac and I were never built to last.