Page 20 of Once Upon a Lie

“A mailbox peeper,” Denny repeats as quietly as he can. “He likes to peek in mailboxes.”

I blink a few times. “Does he steal the mail?”

“Oh, no,” Denny says like that would be absurd. “He just likes to see the mail sitting inside the mailboxes.”

I can’t decide if I should be completely freaked the fuck out or think it’s no big deal at all.

“All I’m saying is just make sure you keep your mailbox locked if you don’t want him to look at your envelopes.” With a pat on my shoulder, Denny heads over to where Callie and Stanley reside by the food.

So many years in my line of work should have prepared me for an evening like this, but I’m afraid they haven’t. Not at all.

Next, Jillian from 510 arrives with her silent husband, Frank. They’re in matching wind suits, like they just finished a half-marathon or some shit, and Jillian holds out a fruit tray. “I knew Callie was bringing her cupcakes, and I wanted to make sure the menu was nutritionally balanced,” she says primly as she looks over my shoulder to check out the snack table Stanley is still commandeering. “Everything in moderation.”

“I wholeheartedly agree,” I say, not even really understanding what in the fuck she’s talking about.

She beams. “So happy to have a like-minded person in the building. Me and Frank here are very particular about what we put inside our bodies.”

Me too, Jillian, me too. You never know what they’re making the dildos out of these days.

Scrubbing a hand through my hair, I welcome the couple into the fray. I thought it was wild that Dom met his wife, Hannah, because we were screening her calls for a murder investigation at a phone-sex hotline called Call Me Anytime.

Magnolia Condos and Valentina Cordone may very well give their meet-cute a run for its money.

At half past seven, Lissa from 815 sweeps in, wearing a sundress and holding up a bowl that’s filled with gummy worms. “I think this is the first party anyone has ever thrown in the building. I’m shocked you were able to get the approval from Rita.”

“Well, I’m a pretty convincing guy when threatened with a noise ordinance and a ten p.m. deadline. Glad I could pull it off,” I tell her through a smile.

“Oh my God!” She cackles, slapping my shoulder really damn hard as she does. “Oh, you’re funny!”

“So, I really appreciate the candy. Gummy worms are great.” I search her eyes closely for any signs of redness. “Are they just gummy worms, or are they . . . something else?”

“Something else?” She tilts her head to the side in confusion.

“You know,” I say pointedly. “Something else. As in, something that you should only have a very, very small amount of at a time.”

It takes her way too fucking long to put two and two together, a sign in and of itself, but eventually she does. “Oh my God, no! I didn’t bring drugs to the party!”

Everyone in the room turns to look at me with wide eyes. Some of them, I suppose, may have even read the article about my forced departure from the police department.

I do my best to save face. “I hate to be a buzzkill, but I’m very antidrug,” I announce. “So I was just making sure that stayed the case in my home. Didn’t mean to make anyone panic.”

“I smoked pot once,” Stanley says, his eyes wide in fear like I might toss him out of my apartment for the experimentation. “I was fourteen. Do you need me to take a drug test, Shane?”

“No, no,” I say, shaking my head. “You’re fine, Stan.”

“It’s Stanley.”

“Right. Stanley.”

Another knock sounds from my door, and I’m not only grateful to be pulled out of my neighbor’s unsolicited drug confession but hoping like hell the woman I need to show up tonight has finally arrived.

But when I swing open the door, it’s not Valentina. It’s Rita in a silk blouse, the chest embroidered with Fortune Heating and Cooling, and her husband, Ken, in a matching polo.

I guess Stan was right about my luck tonight.

“Mr. Maddox,” she greets, stepping inside like she owns the place. “Nice, respectable volume on the music. I approve.”

I suck my lips into my mouth to stop myself from making a joke about the yacht rock playlist I put on as a joke and hold out a hand to the man in business casual instead.