Page 30 of Cousin Conundrum

“You can impart all of Lady Catherine’s wisdom to Kitty on your ride,” Mrs. Bennet said firmly. “Kitty, fetch your bonnet.”

Kitty popped up. “Certainly.” If her smile appeared more like gritted teeth than a joyous grin, Elizabeth didn’t believe Mr. Collins took any note.

***

Kitty let Mr. Collins hand her into the carriage to the sight of Mrs. Archer and her three eldest daughters, Miss Jacoline Archer, Miss Edith, and Miss Mabel, in the forward-facing seat, which left Kitty to sit with Miss Laura, Mr. Collins…and Cat. Kitty kept her smile firmly in place as she climbed in.

“Oh, Kitty, I am so pleased you are joining us,” Cat said with an enthusiasm Kitty didn’t trust. “I may call you Kitty, may I not? Sharing a name, I feel we are already the best of friends. Here, you sit by the window so you may enjoy the view.”

Normally, Kitty would easily agree to such a request, but Cat’s false affection grated. “Oh no. I could not. I have seen the views here for the entirety of my days. You should sit by the window, Cat.” Kitty blinked at her. “I may call you Cat, may I not? We are meant to be such dear friends, as you say.”

Cat, who’d been in the process of sliding over, cast her a quick, narrow-eyed look.

Kitty kept her face blank, as she did when Lydia spoke for her.

“How considerate you are.” Cat reversed course, moving over to the window. “Is Kitty not such a sweet girl?” she asked the carriage at large.

“Please, sit, Miss Kitty, so Mr. Collins may enter.” Mrs. Archer gestured.

Miss Laura cast Cat a quick smirk. “Do you know? There are two windows. How silly of us not to think of that. You sit there, Miss Kitty.” She slid over as well, leaving a space for Mr. Collins between her and Cat.

Deciding to concede this round, especially as she did not actually wish to sit beside Mr. Collins, Kitty did as requested. Mr. Collins joined them to a cascade of greetings. The strong, resinous odor of his hair oil filled the carriage along with him, and Kitty struggled to hide a grimace. As much as she didn’t wish for these Archers to win, Kitty would do well to keep the prize in mind lest she truly end up attracting Mr. Collins.

Or should she try? Which would be more dreadful, to be married to Mr. Collins, or for an Archer to be mistress of Longbourn?

Kitty simply did not know.

At a signal from Mrs. Archer, the carriage moved forward. Rather than looking out the window, Kitty turned her attention to the sumptuous conveyance and those within. The seat upon which she sat was soft, the ride well sprung, and the curtains made of velvet tied back with ivory silk cords. And, as when they’d met, the Archer women wore gowns in the height of fashion, perfectly cut and crafted from rich fabrics. Kitty looked down at her made over garments and suppressed a sigh.

She likely need not worry about attracting Mr. Collins away from the Archers.

“Now, Miss Kitty, you must point out the sights as we pass,” Mrs. Archer said.

“And you must tell us what there is to do hereabouts for entertainment,” Miss Archer added.

“I heard rumor of an assembly,” Miss Laura said before Kitty could formulate a reply. She spoke loudly and with too much cheer.

The effect of being the youngest of five? Was that why Lydia generally talked in such a manner? Kitty had assumed it was her younger sister’s personality, or how Mrs. Bennet spoiled her. But then, mayhap, Mrs. Archer spoiled her youngest as well.

“Not that I will be permitted to attend,” Miss Laura added.

“You will not?” Kitty asked, surprised but also relieved. Perhaps they needn’t fend off Archers at every turn, then.

“Certainly not.” Mrs. Archer offered her youngest an indulgent smile. “Laura is not out yet. It would be terribly improper to have five daughters out at once. Especially as Laura is so young still.”

Perhaps Mrs. Archer didn’t spoil her youngest overmuch, then. Kitty sucked in a deep breath to fend off a blush and willed none of them to ask if Lydia was out.

“Where might one even hold an assembly hereabouts?” Cat asked, looking about the carriage as if she might spot a location within.

“We have a fine assembly hall.” Kitty fought against the slight edge in her voice. “Surely, residing at the Longs as you are, you have seen it?”

“Have we?” Miss Edith’s frown seemed no more real than Cat’s smile had.

Were the six always playacting? “Yes, you must have. The large white building across from the church,” Kitty clarified.

“Large…” Miss Edith trailed off. “Oh dear. I would not have thought that building houses sufficient space for a gathering. Not one worth attending, leastwise.”

Then do not. Kitty barely managed to hold in the words.