Page 123 of Riot’s Revenge

“Are we?”

His face hardened slightly. “Yeah, Maria. We fucking are.”

“Then why was I the only one who didn’t know someone might have been following me?”

“You weren’t the only one and because it’s my job to protect you.”

I stared at him. The fear and anger and exhaustion of the last few weeks rose all at once, and before I could stop myself, the words were out. “Yeah. That worked well this time.”

He flinched and I immediately wished I could take it back. I closed my eyes. “Fuck. Riot, I’m sorry.” I reached out and held his hand gently.

He looked away. “You ain’t wrong.”

“Yes, I am.”

I stepped closer. “What happened tonight wasn’t your fault.”

His jaw clenched. “Could’ve stopped it.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. That’s not what I’m saying.”

He finally looked at me.

I dragged the chair closer and sat down again, this time close enough that our knees nearly touched. “I know what you were trying to do. I know you thought keeping me out of it would keep me safe.”

“That was the plan.”

“But if you want me to make good, safe decisions, then I need all the information.”

He didn’t say anything.

“I can’t protect myself from something I don’t know exists, Riot. I can’t be careful around people I don’t know I’m supposed to be looking for. If you’d told me someone had been watching the clinic, maybe I would’ve noticed something. Maybe I would’ve been more careful tonight.”

His face tightened. “Don’t.”

“I’m not blaming myself.”

“Sounds like it.”

“I’m not. I’m trying to make you understand.”

I leaned forward, resting my forearms against my thighs. “Tonight was supposed to be nothing. Just a night out with the girls. I didn’t even drink.”

His brow furrowed.

“I just wanted to have some fun.” The anger drained out of me as quickly as it had arrived because suddenly I was tired, so fucking tired. “I didn’t want to spend another night sitting at home alone wondering where my husband was.” I looked down at my hands. “Wondering if you were going to come home at all. Wondering if it was our bed you were going to end up in or someone else’s.”

“Maria.”

“I know that wasn’t what was happening now. But I didn’t know that then.”

His hand covered mine and I almost pulled away, but I just stared at his battered knuckles wrapped around my fingers.

“I’ve spent weeks thinking you didn’t want me anymore,” I admitted. “Do you understand how fucking stupid that made me feel? Sitting there wondering what I’d done wrong. Whether I’d got old or boring or whether being married to me just wasn’t enough anymore.”

His fingers tightened. “Look at me.”

I didn’t. Tears blurred my vision, and I felt fucking stupid.