Page 40 of Every Little Thing

I follow his gaze to the couples out in the parking lot and nod half-heartedly. “Yep.”

“Let me ask you something…”

Oh, here we go.

“What?”

He turns back to me and pins me with a stare that radiates power and Blaze’s signature no-nonsense attitude. “You planning on pulling your head out of your ass anytime soon?”

“Excuse me?” I ask, jerking back as my eyes widen. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Do you think you joined this club without me doing my research on you?”

I arch a brow, still unsure about where this is going. “No, I suppose not.”

“So, then you know that I know about your wife.”

“Ex-wife,” I growl, sinking into my chair as I glare at the pavement and tightening my arms across my chest. He sighs.

“You haven’t signed the papers.”

I flick my eyes in his direction.

How in the fuck does he know that?

“What’s your goddamn point?”

“Look, I don’t know exactly what went on between y’all but I do know that you’ve been moping around this clubhouse for years, missing that woman, so throw your pride out of the window and go find her.”

“I am not missing her,” I snap, dropping my gaze to the ground as the pain in my chest seems to throb in agreement with Blaze’s words.

“Oh, save the bullshit.”

“I’m not bull…”

He holds his hand up, interrupting me as he rolls his eyes. “Save it. I know the look on your face too damn well. The only difference is, in your case, you can do something to change it but you’re just too stubborn to try.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I growl. Blaze’s story is a sad one for sure and there were things that were out of his control that kept him away from the woman he loved but it doesn’t mean our situations are the same. Piper cheated on me. Am I just supposed to let that go? He shrugs as he stands up.

“Fine. Do whatever you want. Just didn’t realize we patched in a little bitch.”

He walks away before I can say anything else and I stare at him as he goes back to the grill and takes over for Storm, anger eating away at me. Fuck him and his goddamn assumptions. What Piper and I had, when we had it, was fucking everything and there is no way in hell I can go back after what she did. Things would never be the same and what the hell would it make me if I just forgave her for her betrayal?

As I stare out at everyone else, laughing and having a good time, my mind drifts back to right before I left for my first deployment. I took Piper out as often as I could then, trying to pack as many memories into as little time as possible and we had an amazing month together before I left. Despite the fact that we’d be apart for almost a year, we still had such grand plans for our life and we were happy… at least, I thought we were. Maybe I didn’t know anything at all, though. Piper’s face pops into my mind, all red hair, freckles, and her green eyes shining with happiness and I shake my head.

No.

We were happy.

I know we were.

So why the hell did she leave?

God, I hate all the fucking questions I still have but the truth is, I don’t even know if the answers would make me feel better at this point. Piper leaving me was the start of a downward trend in my life. I started drinking and fighting. Anyone that even looked at me funny was liable to get a fist to the face and I didn’t care about what would happen to me. I mean, my girl was gone so what did it matter if I got my ass kicked, kicked out of the Marines, or arrested for assault?

Without her, I had nothing to lose.

The thought echoes through my head and I release a heavy breath as I sit forward and scrub a hand down my face. Shit. Here I am, talking about how fucking epic our love was and how lost I was without her but I never even went looking for her. I didn’t even try.

Why the hell not?

Why didn’t I fight for her, for us?

Maybe if I had, I would have the life that I want so goddamn badly.

Turning my gaze back to all of the couples milling around the clubhouse, I shake my head. No matter how hard I fight it, Piper is still the only woman I can see spending the rest of my life with and as I think about her betrayal, I can’t even find the energy to care anymore. I loved her since I was a fucking kid and if I’m honest with myself, that never went away. There are still a whole lot of answers I need before she and I can begin to fix this but Blaze is right.

It’s time to get my woman back.