Page 13 of Every Little Thing

“Hello?! Earth to Piper!” Eden says and I blink as I meet her eyes.

“Huh?”

Her eyes roll back in her head. “I asked you what you thought.”

I glance down at the paper in my hand and shake my head before looking through some of the other papers. After flipping through page after page on reproductive health, pregnancy statistics, and other options for starting a family, I sigh.

“I can’t focus on this much information at once, Eden. It’s like gibberish and my mind is running at a hundred miles an hour.”

She nods and pulls a notepad out of her purse before tossing it onto the table in front of me. “I thought you might say that so I made bullet points.”

“You had this the whole time and you’re just now giving it to me?” I ask, picking up the notepad and waving it around. She nods.

“I wanted you to have everything you might need to make this decision.”

I do a quick scan of the information printed on the front page of the notepad before looking up at her. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Why is this so important to you?”

Her eyes shine with unshed tears as she looks down at the table. “Because I love you and you have this tendency to live in fear. You let it paralyze you and until someone pushes you, you don’t grow or move forward. I know how badly you want to have a family and so I’m going to push you because I think, in the end, you’ll thank me for it.”

“Eden,” I whisper as a tear streaks down my face. I wish she wasn’t one hundred percent correct but I know she is. After everything that I’ve been through, it’s the way I protect myself but I know I need people like her in my life to push me past what feels safe. “Okay. Lay this out for me?”

She nods as she grabs the notepad and sets it on the table between the two of us. “So, as far as I can tell, your options to have a family without a man in your life is to use a sperm donor or adoption.”

“I figured as much but the real question is what is the cost?”

Wincing, she flips to the second page of the notebook and slides it across the table to me.

Adoption:

$35,000 - $50,000

“Jesus Christ,” I snap, glancing up at her with wide eyes as she nods, looking guilty.

“I know. When I saw that number I about passed out.”

My heart drops and glance back down at the paper. “There is no way in hell I can afford that, Eden. Like ever.”

How does that make any kind of sense? There are children who desperately need homes and I want to give them that and all the love they can handle but I still can’t adopt a child unless I take out so many loans I’ll never recover or win a small lottery.

“Just keep reading,” she instructs and I take a deep breath as I move to the next line.

Sperm Bank & IUI:

$4,000

Well, I guess it’s not impossible but it’s still a large amount of money for me. Eden and I do well with our studio but we’re not rich by any means. Wringing my hands together, I shake my head.

“Maybe I could squeeze that. I’d have to save up for a little while, though.”

“Well…” Eden squeaks and my head jerks up.

“What?”

She winces again. “That number is per cycle of IUI and the chances that you’ll get pregnant are only about twenty percent, at best.”