Page 24 of Never Let Me Go

“Well, okay. If you’re sure…”

I nod. “I am but thank you for the offer. It was very kind.”

Lana nods before turning to grab the bags and I glance at Cora.

“Stay safe and remember, if you ever need anything, just give any of us a call. We’ll keep an eye on Freddie until we’re sure that he’s not a threat anymore.”

She nods, tears welling up in her eyes. “I know Lana already said this several times but truly, thank you. I was beginning to think I’d never feel safe again but you guys changed that for me.”

“Of course.” She launches herself at me and I give her a quick hug before I take a step back and hold up a hand to wave good-bye. They both inch closer to the front door of the cottage before turning back to wave.

“Drive safe!” Cora yells as I round the hood of the truck and I nod, waving to them again before climbing behind the wheel and starting the truck. When I’m on the next street over, I pull over to the side of the road and grab my phone. I’ll need to get a hotel room for the night but there’s no way I’ll be able to wake up in a couple hours if I get into a bed. Opening the internet, I search for a secluded beach and program it into the GPS before pulling away from the curb again. It’s not ideal but at least I’ll be able to grab a couple hours of sleep before I need to pick up Juliette. Hopefully, Blaze was right and she just needs a ride back to Baton Rouge but, as usual, I’ve got a bad feeling about the whole thing.

Chapter Eight

Juliette

My stomach churns and my throat feels tight as I wring my hands together and trek across the bedroom. The moonlight casts an eerie, blue hue over the room as it shines down on me through the wall of windows and I suck in a breath as I turn and walk back along the same path. I’ve been like this for an hour, at least, pacing through my room and struggling to breathe as I wait to make my move. I swear, if a pin dropped across the apartment, I’d be able to hear it and there’s a fairly good chance it would make me jump out of my skin. Grabbing my phone, I pull up the text Mercedes sent me a couple of hours after I got off the phone with her this morning.

Mercedes:

His name is Sawyer and

he’ll meet you at the diner down

the street from your place at midnight.

Sucking in a breath, I read the text two more times before checking the clock again. Eleven fifteen. Time to go. As I tuck the phone into my back pocket, I walk over to the little desk in the corner of the room and sink into the chair in front of it. A stack of letterhead with my company’s logo greets me as I open the first drawer and I pull out a piece before grabbing a pen. My pen hovers above the page for a second before I sigh. This whole situation… it’s just so fucked and me running out on Gavin in the middle of the night isn’t fair but neither is expecting me to hang around here when nothing feels right anymore. I know I need to go find my memories in my own way, in my own time but it doesn’t make it any easier.

After hanging up with Mercedes this morning, I spent hours going through the massive closet and packing everything I wanted to take with me before wasting the rest of the day thinking about all the things I want to do when I get back to Baton Rouge. It’s weird that even though I don’t remember being away, I somehow miss my city and the longer I spend in Miami, I’m wondering what it was that kept me here. Was it Dad? My company? None of it makes any sense which is all the more reason why I need to go even if I do feel guilty for what I’m about to do to a perfectly nice man. It also doesn’t help that he came from work this afternoon with flowers in hand and cooked me a delicious meal that I could barely eat due to my tumultuous stomach. I got away with telling him that I didn’t feel well, which wasn’t as much of a lie as I thought it would be, and disappearing into the bedroom right afterward. Sighing, I stare down at the paper and shake my head as I start writing.

Gavin,

I’m sorry.

Tossing the pen down, I sink back into the chair and cross my arms over my chest. Shit. I can’t just leave him that, can I? But I don’t know what else to say. I am sorry that this is what I need and I’m sorry that everything worked out this way. Mostly, I am sorry that this is going to hurt him. That’s not what I want to do but I don’t see any other option in front of me. My stomach aches as I lean forward and grab the pen again.

Gavin,

I’m sorry… for a lot of things but most of all is that this is going to hurt you. In the time we’ve spent together, you seem like a good man but the trouble is, I don’t know who I am anymore. I look around this apartment we shared and I don’t recognize any piece of myself. I need to go figure things out on my own but to ask that you wait for me when I can’t promise you a single thing isn’t fair so I hope you find a way to move on with your life and be happy again. And please, don’t come after me. If this is real, if you and I are meant to be together, I have faith that the universe will bring us together again.

Xoxo,

Juliette

I stare down at my words for a few seconds before setting the pen down and grabbing the note as I stand up from the chair. With my note in hand, I grab my bags and inch toward the door, listening for movement on the other side but it’s been quiet for a while now. At dinner, Gavin informed me that he would be crashing in the spare bedroom at the top of the stairs until my memories came back and I was so relieved that he wasn’t trying to force anything on me. I imagine it’s incredibly painful for him to be in this house with me but unable to touch me like he’s used to and unwelcome in his own bedroom but he never puts any pressure on me and never tries to make me feel bad for the way things are. Just one more reason to feel guilty about what I’m about to do.

The door creaks as I slowly pull it open and I wince, my ears straining as I stare into the darkness. It certainly looks like he’s gone to bed for the night. I creep forward, trying to be as quiet as possible as I roll my suitcase behind me and clutch the note in my hand. The apartment is dark and the only sound is the soft tick of the large clock mounted on the wall in the living room. I stop in the kitchen, next to the island and set the note down before pulling my engagement ring off and laying it on top as tears sting my eyes.

I’m so sorry.

I stare at the ring for another second before turning away and grabbing my suitcase handle again. My gaze flicks to the closed door at the top of the stairs as I walk to the elevator and I silently ask him for forgiveness and understanding. But even through the guilt I feel over the hurt this is going to cause him, there isn’t a single part of me that feels like leaving is a mistake. In fact, it feels like the best thing I’ve done since waking up in the hospital a week ago. With newfound resolve, I close the distance between me and the elevator and press the button. The doors immediately slide open and I step inside, pressing the button for the lobby. As the car begins its descent, I release a breath and lean back against the back wall. Just a little bit farther and I’ll finally be on my way home again. My heart jumps as the doors open again in the lobby, revealing Carl. He glances up and his look of surprise melts away as he smiles at me.

“Can I help you, Miss Shaw?”

I smile and shake my head. “No, thank you, Carl. I’m all good.”

“Going on a trip?” he asks, eyeing my bags and I glance back at the suitcase I’m pulling behind me. Should I tell him where I’m going? In my note, I asked Gavin not to try and find me but do I really expect him to do that? From the little I know about him, I don’t know that I can see him as the type of man to sit idly by and just wait for the woman he loves to come back. Turning back to Carl, I force another smile.