Page 77 of Evading Fate

“This is perfect,” I whisper, my eyes drifting closed as he pulls me in tighter and moves us fluidly.

“Absolutely perfect,” he answers, and when I pull back to look at him, his eyes are locked on me. I blush and lean in, placing a modest kiss on his lips – still all too aware that family surrounds us.

The song changes but Trey and I just keep swaying back and forth, and I get lost in our little world. Everyone else fades away as we dance together in the lush suite at the Bellagio, and I wonder if when I open my eyes, this will all be a dream. It’s still a little hard to wrap my mind around. Only yesterday, we were unsure of our future, and now we’re married. There’s nothing else in our way, and in my mind, I can finally see our family taking shape. The kids we’ll have and the amazing moments we’ll share through the years.

“Hey, we’re heading out. We’ll see you guys at brunch tomorrow,” Emma says, tapping my shoulder, and when I look back, everyone else is gone. I smile at my friend, noticing that she’s got bags under her eyes, and she looks a little pale. Concerned, I pull away from Trey and grab her shoulders just as Nix walks back into the room, looking for her.

“Are you okay, sweetie? You don’t look so hot.”

She beams, her entire face lighting up, and Nix grins behind her, making me feel like I’m out of the loop on something here. “Don’t tell anyone else but I’m pregnant,” she whispers, laying her hand on her tummy, and my jaw drops.

“Oh my God,” I breathe, placing my hand on top of hers. “That’s amazing. Congrats, you two.”

“We’re going to tell everyone tomorrow at brunch but we didn’t want to ruin your special day.”

“Are you kidding me? This is fantastic news. It wouldn’t have ruined my day.”

She smiles, looking so incredibly happy, and I finally know how she feels. That deep level of happiness that just settles over you and makes you feel like nothing will ever go wrong because you have a man that loves you immensely.

“Well, I’m probably going to pass out at any second so I’m going to let you guys get back to it. I love you. I’ll see you both tomorrow,” she says, giving us both hugs and Nix follows behind her, hugging me and slapping Trey on the back before leading his wife off. Trey wraps his arms around my waist, and I lean back into him as I watch them go.

“I love you,” he whispers against my neck as soon as the door to the suite closes, pressing a kiss to my skin. I shiver and melt into him.

“I love you.” Tears sting my eyes, and I try to blink them away but it’s futile. Trey spins me around, concern lining his gorgeous face as he looks me over, trying to figure out what my problem is.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“Nothing is wrong,” I say, grabbing his face gently, “I’m just so happy. I have everything that I thought I had to live without and I have it because of you. You refused to back down, and you built this incredible life for me when I was ready to give up.”

“That’s my job, Addy. When you feel like throwing in the towel, I pick up the slack and vice versa. I’ll never stop doing everything I can to make you happy. It’s the only thing that’s important to me – your happiness.”

With tears streaming down my face, I press my lips to his in desperation, trying to pour all my feelings into my touch but I still feel like it’s not enough. “I love you,” I whisper against his lips. His hand slides into my hair, cradling the back of my head as he lifts me off the floor and starts carrying me off to the bedroom.

“I love you, too, Mrs. Harrington, and I’m about to spend all night showing you just how much.”

Epilogue

Take Two

Three Years and Nine Months Later…

Perfection.

That’s the only word that comes to mind as I stare down at her, my eyes taking in every inch of her perfect little face, from her adorable little button nose and rosy cheeks to the long dark eyelashes that fan out across her cheeks, and my heart swells with love again and again. Just when I think I can’t possibly fit any more love into my heart, it expands and I fall deeper in love with our daughter. I count her fingers and toes again for the fiftieth time since she came screaming into the world a few hours ago, still not quite able to believe that this is my life.

There has been so many times over the years that I thought I would never get here, and now I can’t even imagine my life without her in it. It’s insane how quickly you can fall in love with such a little person. From the moment I saw that little plus sign on the test, she owned me. Our journey to get here was a rocky one but I would do it all again if this is the end result each time. All the nights of tears and feeling hopeless are worth this.

After Trey and I got married, we decided to wait to start a family. We were excited for that part of our lives but we also wanted time to ourselves first. We traveled to places on our bucket lists and bought a house, enlisting Tucker and Daisy to remodel it for us. Two years ago, when we decided that it was time, we got pregnant quickly and were thrilled to be taking this new adventure together. We talked about names and nursery ideas. Trey bought a miniature guitar to match his, and he was excited to teach our child to play one day.

And then at nine weeks, I miscarried.

I’ll never forget that day as long as I live. Trey and I had just gotten back from grocery shopping and we were carrying bags in, laughing about something stupid. I was so happy, so in love with my life when pain seized my belly, and my knees buckled. I fell to the kitchen floor as a sound I could barely even recognize as human filled the room. The fear in Trey’s eyes gripped me as he knelt down next to me, his hands moving all over my body as he tried to find the source of my pain.

When he lifted his hand from my leg and I saw the blood staining his skin, my entire world shattered right there on the tile floor. I didn’t need to see the sympathetic looks from the EMTs or the moment of hesitation from the doctor before he delivered the news because I already knew. My baby was dead, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Four hours later, Trey was carrying me out of the hospital, and I spent the next month in bed, too broken inside to even care.

Once again, like so many times before, Trey was my rock. He took care of me and tried to coax me out of the house but I wasn’t having it. The only thing that reached me was the defeated look in his eyes but it still wasn’t enough to break through the fog of pain that the death of our child caused. Finally, I got sick of myself and of being in bed so I went to the closet and pulled out my mom’s letters. When I got to the one Daddy wrote her right after her own miscarriage, I read it with new eyes and realized that my life wasn’t over either.

Trey and I started trying again but we weren’t as lucky as the first time. When we hadn’t conceived after six months of trying, we went to the doctor, who couldn’t find any reason either of us couldn’t have children. And for the first time since we fell in love, I saw Trey’s faith start to waver. It was my turn to hold us together while he struggled, and I learned everything I could to better our chances of getting pregnant. It was so draining, and there were days when I was ready to give up hope as well but then nine months ago, we got a plus sign instead of a minus.