Page 39 of Wolf

She pauses in the middle and half-turns to look at me. Thank god I’m too far away to see any pain, distress, or doubt on her face.

“Will you make sure to put more ointment on your hands?”

There’s a long pause, then she gives a nod so small I can barely see it. “As long as you do the same.”

I’d submerge my body in a vat of the stuff if it would bring her back.

She gets in her car, and I mount up my bike. I’m sore all over from fucking hard. The rumble of the engine makes the pain worse, which is at least a distraction from the raw ache in my chest.

Julia pulls away and I move into position behind her. If I can’t keep her safe from me, I’ll make sure she’s safe in every other way.

Chapter 16

Julia

Happy squeals ring out from the living room where Artie is playing with Leah’s son Liam. He’s a few years younger but they seem to be having fun. I sit at the kitchen table where I can look through the opening and watch them. Artie’s acting out a scene from one of his cartoons, bounding around and rolling on the furniture. The younger boy copies him in the clumsy way of toddlers, toddling and flopping. He reminds me so much of Artie when he was that age that my throat fills up with a bittersweet aching.

Leah moves to my side and sets a mug of tea down in front of me. She’s also watching the kids. I give her my attention for a moment, taking in her pale gold hair and fair skin, her vivid blue eyes and high cheekbones. It’s no wonder she caught the eye of Steel Rider’s president.

I look back at the little boy chasing Artie in circles around the living room. He’s all Leah, even though he’s half Steel. Same angelic gold hair, same eyes that are a brighter blue than can be found in reality.

“Where did Liam’s name come from?” I ask as I wrap my hands around my mug. “Did you just like the sound of it?”

“Steel and I agreed to name him that to honor my brother.” Leah pulls out a chair beside me and sits with her own cup of tea. “His name was Liam. He died in a crash.”

Pain floods her voice and suddenly she won’t look at me, stirring and stirring her tea. I reach to her and touch her arm. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.” She clears her throat and blinks rapidly. “Things happen for a reason, I think. If it wasn’t for my life going downhill and my family falling apart, I never would have met Steel the way I did. I never would have found my happiness.”

“Funny, how things turn out that way for some people,” I murmur, and sip at my tea to ease the sudden jealousy tightening my throat.

“I said happiness, not perfection,” Leah corrects in her soft, sweet voice. “It’s a perfectly imperfect life. That doesn’t make it easy. Steel’s a rough man with a hard past. I might be his queen, but that doesn’t mean we always see eye-to-eye.”

His queen. Well, shit, if that’s not the sappiest thing I’ve heard all day. Instantly, I feel bad for even thinking that. Leah is sweet and she’s been nothing but kind to me since I arrived.

She continues, “I’m sure it’s not like this for all clubs, but Steel established the Steel Riders for rough men with hard pasts. This is a family, something real and tangible for people to believe in and hold onto. They try to do the right thing. Try. Don’t always succeed at it.” She pauses and turns her eyes toward the kids. “Liam?” Leah’s voice suddenly takes on a mild firmness. “Please don’t pull on Artie’s arm like that.”

I twist around to look. Liam’s already stopped what he was doing, and he gives Leah a look of sweet apology. “Sorry, mommy!” He says it without a hint of bitterness or embarrassment.

“I’m sorry about that,” Leah says looking embarrassed. “He doesn’t know his own strength. That’s one thing that Steel and I are trying to teach him.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. He’s so sweet and I know he’ll be more careful.” I say with a smile. I’m also secretly proud of how Artie handled it.

“How are you and Wolf doing?” Leah asks.

“If I tell you something, is it going to make its way back to Steel? It’s not that I don’t trust him. I do, he’s done so much for me. I just don’t want him to know some things.”

“If it isn’t something that’s obviously related to keeping you safe, he doesn’t need to know. I can keep secrets, promise.” Leah holds up her hand and extends her little finger.

I stare for a moment, my brain briefly shorting out. A pinky promise? That’s what little kids do.

Or is what playful, well-adjusted adults do, too?

I hook my finger with hers. She smiles again, and I smile back.

Then, I tell her what I found out, that Wolf was basically the orchestrator of me leaving town six years ago. “I spent so much time feeling confused and like I had done something wrong.”

“I know it doesn’t help what you went through,” Leah says. “But you can at least take some comfort in the fact that you didn’t do anything wrong.”