Page 22 of Tasty Tentacles

I pull over one of the deck chairs and sit, giving him my full attention.

“This can be startling,” he says, pulling another chair over in front of me. “I’ll understand if you’re, um, startled.”

I have no idea what to expect, but I steel myself for the worst. Gods, I hope he’s okay.

He pulls off his mask and his beautiful beard shines like copper in the sunlight. It may be a good thing I’m sitting because I feel a swoon coming on.

Then his beard starts to move. All by itself. I lean forward for a better look.

His beard lengthens and waves in the sun. His sexy handlebar straightens and then wraps back into waxed curls.

“How are you doing that?” I really don’t know. “It’s beautiful.”

“Look closer,” Hideo suggests quietly, watching the whole thing.

I hop out of the chair and move in close. His chin is covered with little tentacles, furry ginger tentacles! They’re mesmerizing, never stopping, making his entire beard glitter in the sun.

I have to ask. It’s too amazing not to ask. “Please? Can I touch them?”

Orion and Hideo both give a big laugh at this. Did I say something wrong? I promised to be on my best behavior, but seriously, how can I not?

“Sorry, BertieBear,” Hideo says. “I won my bet. I told him that would be the first thing you’d say.”

“I suppose I should be offended,” I huff. “But really, can I?”

“If you’d like,” Orion says, looking confused.

“Yes, please,” I say, and jump in before he can say no.

It’s too wonderful—I may just explode with the experience of it. I fully admit I’m a fanatical pogonophile, always have been. Hideo’s dense black goatee always sends me right over the edge and back again…but this is different. Orion’s beard is alive with motion. I don’t hold back. I move in close and weave my hands all the way in, feeling all that fur slide along my fingers, wrapping and squeezing and dancing and tickling along my wrists…

“I’m sorry…I need to sit down,” I say, completely overwhelmed and feeling my legs wobble. It’s too much, too amazingly stupendous, and I don’t know how I’m going to encompass it.

Orion’s face falls with disappointment. Did I do something to cause that?

Hideo takes Orion’s shoulder, saying, “Pull your chair over. Go sit next to him. You just gave him the Christmas present of his life, and he’s trying to catch up.”

I stammer out, “What Hidie said. Yes. Can I?”

My husband always knows best, and soon I’m safely seated right next to Orion and stroking his soft fur. Orion is still hesitating, keeping some distance, but I can’t stop, really I can’t. His long tentacles stretch and lengthen under my touch and I have to laugh when one of the little ones on his lip curls around my pinkie. It can’t be true, but it is, right here, in my hands.

“Mmmm,” Orion says, closing his eyes and finally letting himself enjoy the attention. “Spice cookies.”

“They do smell good, don’t they? It’s my grandmother’s recipe.”

“Cinnamon, of course,” Orion says as several more of the little tentacles dance around my fingers. It’s tickly and unexpected and so damn wonderful. “Clove, ginger, molasses, and nutmeg.”

“Just a hint of nutmeg. It’s not in the recipe, but I always add some. All that from the smell?”

“His tentacula are sensitive to taste,” Hideo says.

“No way!” It bursts out of my mouth before I can hold it in. Rude, I know, but…

Orion says, giving me an adorable shy smile, “Yes, I’m afraid so.”

“OMG!” I exclaim. “This explains so much. Why didn’t you tell me years ago? There’s so much we could have been sharing.”

“Well, you can share now,” Hideo says, always the diplomat. “Let’s go inside and make some culinary magic.”