Page 51 of Unlocking Ruin

“Screw healing. I’ll accept the scab and the scar. I just want...” I throw my hands in the air. “I want to… to find…”

“Find what?” he asks sharply, as if he’d tear open the depths of hell and face every single demon to grant me my wish.

I look down at my lap, at the keypad, unable to say it directly to him, and admit it. “Love and security. Hacking has always given me that.”

“Hacking has always rewarded you. Something your mom didn’t. Code can not love you, Rylan.”

“And you think you can?” I question defensively, as I drag the laptop closer.

I refuse to let him answer that, so I don’t give him a chance, and continue vomiting words... “I still think you’re insane, but what choice do I have but to sip down the Mad Hatter’s tea? I have to trust you.”

“Is that your form of a friendship bracelet? You like me, don’t you, Little Thief?”

“I like you like someone prefers that vaccine I mentioned. It’s necessary, but still stings.”

“Life-saving.” He winks.

“I said vaccine,” I correct him, rolling my green eyes. “Not organ donation.”

His smile reaches his eyes, and I find myself smiling too.

Sweat beads on my temple and begins to run down my face. I shift away to avoid the fireplace’s warmth, but when I glance up, Steffen’s look is infinitely more intense.

“I’m mad that my mom always chose a man over me. I stayed in the hope I could make her… love me.”

“Sometimes devils can’t stand to be near angels. Innocents. So they push or flee, afraid of love,” he adds.

“You’re near me.” That came out harshly. I catch my tongue between my teeth. Stop talking!

“I am.” Is that remorse in his voice? The man does feel. “Some devils seek it out.”

Releasing my tongue, I dare to ask, “And what do they do once they find it?”

He leans back into the couch, crosses one leg over the other, and observes me for an uncomfortably long period. “They hope it brings them salvation,” he finally answers.

“What do you need saving from, Steffen?” I ask. I glance at the fire, his fear.

“Salvation isn’t saving, Rylan.”

“What is it in your book, since you know everything and make all the rules?”

He bats his thick lashes, shading his eyes to a deep ocean-blue that strikes terror in me. “An escape.”

My arms turn into a corset as I squeeze myself into a suffocating hug. The air becomes as humid as a rainforest. I sense him looking at me, full of anticipation and desire.

I look away, scanning the wall of books, but the titles aren’t in English. I have no idea what I’m reading. It could be How to Build a Nuclear Weapon and Destroy the World in One Go, or it could be something as simple as Hansel and Gretel.

“Back to your past,” he mutters, clearly half irritated and half amused. “Your dad started sending your mom money for you under the terms that your true identity would remain undisclosed. He made your mom and Frank sign ironclad non-disclosure agreements; he also gave Frank a job to help out financially, but it was also a form of blackmail. He was watching Frank, making sure the weasel didn’t expose who you were. The scholarships you got were from your father; he wanted what was best for you. To help as much as he could.”

I fact-check everything as he confesses it. It’s all here. The NDAs, the wire transfers each month to my mom. I shut down the computer. I don’t need to fact check Steffen. He’s telling me the truth.

I lean forward and put the laptop on the coffee table. That’s it. I trust him.

Hopefully, I don’t regret it.

“Help?” I snap. I try to edge forward, but my sweat has me sticking to the leather of the couch. “What about me? His own kid! Where was my ‘hello’? Did he ever know what it was like living in that house?”

“No. You covered it well, Rylan. If he had, you would have been removed.”