Page 100 of Unlocking Ruin

“It was a great risk.” Alister nods, still surveying me. “Steffen asked if he could speak to you. He was willing to trade me Nelson, for a single phone call.”

“Nelson is still alive?”

Alister glances down. “That isn’t always a good thing in our world, Rylan,” he replies. “Steffen was willing to give up his revenge just to hear your voice.” Alister stands, comes to my side, and touches my shoulder. “Allies are useful, but not a promise of survival. To live in our world, you need people who are loyal to you, Rylan. People who are willing to die for you.”

“You want me to talk to Steffen? Choose him?”

Alister shakes his head. “What I want doesn’t matter. You are free to decide for yourself.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a thick, small card. He hands it to me, and I see a number inked on it.

I don’t have to ask. I know it’s Steffen’s number.

“Once you make a choice, there is no going back, Rylan. We make contracts in this world, and The Rites of Passage enforce them. Choose wisely.”

CHAPTER 26

Rylan

As a kid, I fell under hacking’s spell. The rhythmic click of keys became my anchor, the only thing that could quiet my restless mind. Sifting through logs, metadata, and the art of social engineering, I found comfort in the certainty of facts. There was always more to discover, more to unravel. Each new challenge pulled me away from the questions that haunted me about my father, my mother, and everything else I could not control.

Later in life, hacking turned into a form of power and freedom. Yes, my house was a cage.

The internet wasn’t—it was boundless.

The corridors that I could discover were endless; I was a mouse in a massive maze, darting and running, smiling. Hacking was my sanctuary, my refuge, therapy, the storm that blew me adrift, the calm river that guided me.

Then I got too good. I was no longer a sailor discovering things for fun. I was a captain steering the ship, burdened with choices and endless plotting.

I had to hack for Frank to protect my mom. I had to make sure I didn’t fail and sink; failure wasn’t an option. That’s why I turned to making playlists. Flooding my head with such loud music and lyrics banished any worry about failing.

As I lay on the floor in the computer room—Alister has a whole room dedicated to monitoring everything you can imagine— I hope and pray that making a playlist for my life will flood me. All I can think about is Steffen, and I need it to stop.

Every truth Alister dropped screams and thrashes in my head. I file it away like metadata.

Why would Steffen do this? I approach the question like a hacker. Was it all so that he could gain another access token for Nelson?

Steffen used me, the weaker system, to extort the larger one, The Rites of Passage.

Grabbing my phone, I turn up the volume. Tomorrow, I’d be shocked if my hearing were in good working order.

I’m at a loss for what to do. Where to go. My room has a bed, which makes me think of Steffen, so I return to the comfort of computers. I lay on the floor, my skin tingling as the vibration from the racks of servers hums through the carpet.

I just wish I could stop thinking. Processing. Why can’t I have an off switch like a computer?

You only did that with Steffen. He turned you off to the world. Let you enjoy life.

Because he took away everything!

Maybe I needed to step back, process, and be loved.

Yeah, and he used me. I toss my phone across the room.

Is that why Alister told me about forgiveness, because he knew I would forgive Steffen and shouldn’t?

“Stop!” I shout as I press my palms to my eyes, seeing a kaleidoscope of colors.

My music abruptly stops. When I lower my hands, Henderson is standing above me, my phone in his hand after he’d turned off my music. Concern is evident on his face. He stoops down while I take off my headphones.

“I’m okay,” I grumble.