Page 35 of First Down Promise

“I’m not pretending there isn’t something here anymore.”

My breath catches somewhere in my chest.

Innocent crushes never turn into more. Not with the one man who’d wreck Pete if something happened between us, and Josh wouldn’t risk his friendship for me.

“Pinch me,” I whisper as my pulse continues to skyrocket. I suddenly feel warm everywhere as I stand and cover my mouth. “Pinch me,” I repeat breathlessly, because this can’t be real. I pace over to the kitchenette, and Josh is quick to get on his feet and follow.

“I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off you all damn season,” he adds. “Please tell me I’m not crazy. Is it just me?” I lean against the counter, searching for the words to say, but coming up short. He stands in front of me, staying a couple of steps back. “Abby, what’s on your mind?”

“Pete,” I answer honestly, shifting my eyes down to the marble flooring.

“Fuck,” Josh groans.

“We should…I don’t know. Stop before we cross a line. Or wait until after the season. See how you feel then…” I trail off.

The easy excuse is to say this is all too complicated, which it is, but the truth is I never considered what would happen if Josh had feelings for me too. It always seemed too unlikely with the revolving door of women who came in and out of his life, though that aspect of his life has been much quieter in recent months, as far as I know.

And now, I don’t know how to handle the grown-ass man standing before me. He’s nearly a foot taller, now in his thirties…and I’m making excuses again because, while he’s the safest person I’ve ever met, I’m terrified of what comes next.

Taking two steps forward, he approaches me and tangles his fingertips in my hair at the back of my neck.

“I’m not waiting.”

He dips his head to kiss me, and I let him. His lips are softer than I expected as they touch mine for the first time, and he tastes minty. The scruff on his face tickles my chin and cheek, but I just grip the back of his neck under his wavy hair. He drops his hands to my thighs and lifts me onto the counter without pulling his lips from mine, and I wrap my calves around his waist on instinct. I could have died and gone straight to hell for all I know, and that would be okay because I finally got kissed by Josh Mackenzie. His fingers ground me as they run along the hem of my sweater and caress my side under the loose material.

“Hang on,” he says against my lips.

He kisses me again and scoops me up into his arms. I throw my arms around his neck and tighten my legs around his waist. Not that I’m worried he’d drop me. I’ve seen him bench three-hundred pounds. He plops down on the couch again, settling me astride his lap like I should have been there in the first place. His hands slip under my sweater to touch my bare skin again, and then he bunches the material upward until he can pull it over my head. Our lips part as I sit back, holding my arms up. That boyish smile crosses his lips while he pulls the sweater over my head. I glance down, suddenly elated that I put a cute bralette under it—white and lacy—instead of an old sports bra.

“God,” he pants, grazing his fingers over the sheer material.

The pink of my nipples is visible through the fabric, and he doesn’t hesitate to trail his fingers over them. They pebble under his touch, and I shift in his lap. His hand gently grips the back of my neck and pulls me back to him, and his tongue finds mine. One of his greedy hands slips up my bare thighs and under the thin shorts material to grab my bottom while the other trails its fingertips over my pierced navel.

My skin’s flushed, and I’m becoming wet almost to an uncomfortable level. I can feel him hardening beneath me. I close my eyes as he moves his lips to my neck, and I try to grind on him through our clothes. He groans against my neck as I try to figure out how big it is through his sweatpants, but then his hands leave me to shove his sweatpants down. I suck in a breath that he might be naked under them, but then my thighs rub against his hips and feel the edge of his briefs. His fingers graze between my legs, pulling a panicked gasp from me as my eyes shoot open.

“Josh, I should probably tell you…” I trail off as his lips kiss down my collarbone.

“What?” he lightly murmurs, his lips braced just above my chest.

“I haven’t…I’m a virgin,” I barely choke out.

He pauses and lifts his head to meet my eyes. “Wait, what?” I just shyly nod in response. “Shit…” he mumbles with a sigh.

“Is that a bad thing?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “No. God, no. That’s a hell of a bomb, but so are you.” He runs his fingers through my hair. “But I can’t take your virginity in a hotel room in Milwaukee.” He looks away. “I won’t rush that.”

“Oh.”

“I’m using a lot of self-control here,” he jokes. “But I always do this. Rush things. And I don’t want to do that to you,” he adds and tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear.

I drop my eyes again. “If it’s easier, we can pretend this didn’t happen.”

“I’m fucking thirty. I don’t need to hide my feelings to people-please.”

I blink at him. Kissing is one thing, but feelings…that hits harder than his mouth did.

“Your feelings?”