Page 93 of Undone

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not yet,” she breathes. “Is that okay?”

“Of course it is, Lily.”

She nods, before pushing up and rubbing at her eyes. She looks more disheveled than normal, but soft and warm. Cared for, clearly, by the girl now hovering in the doorway.

“I’m sorry,” she says, her eyes meeting mine, fingers tucking into my shirt collar to play with the chain I’m wearing. “I . . . I liked our date.”

It’s such a Lily sentence I can’t stop my smile. “Yeah? Me too.”

“I just didn’t want you to think it was that. I was . . . I had a good day. I don’t know why I feel like this now.”

“It’s okay, you know?” I say, pressing my words nearly into her ear. “Feeling the way you do right now? Nothing is wrong with you. Depression is difficult, but it’s almost normal. There are so many people who go through that, you know?”

Her eyes glimmer. I wonder if anyone has ever said that word to her, has dared to call it that.

“Normal?”

“Very normal, Lily.”

She nods, before looking back at my chain and continuing to loop it in her fingers until it pulls a little too tight on my neck. My skin warms, and I clear my throat, gently pulling the silver from her hands.

“Holden wanted to come too,” I say. “Do you want to see him? I can tell him to fuck off too.”

Lily smiles, nodding. “I want to see him.”

I let her get up off my lap, standing beside her. But before she approaches the pair of worried blondes in the corner, I place my hand across her entire head, pulling her backward to look up at me.

“Let’s hang out for a minute, and then we can all watch a movie or play a game or something, okay?”

“Okay.”

I push her, ruffling her hair as I let go of her head, and wait for Paloma to make her way to me as Lily offers Holden—albeit a little awkwardly—a tour of the house. Including thorough lessons on Van Gogh, I hope.

Paloma is chewing on the sleeve of her sweatshirt, staring at them. But she’s approached me, and that’s enough for me to open my mouth. I should say thank you—for calling me, for taking care of Lily, for being her friend. But instead, all that comes out is: “Reiner loves you, you know.”

Her eyes dart down, teeth seeming to sink in harder on the fabric before she pulls it from her mouth and crosses her arms.

“He deserves better.”

I shrug. “And so does Lily. But . . . maybe there’s a chance we do too. Better than the fucked-up hands we’ve been dealt.”

Paloma doesn’t say anything, but I lightly tap my elbow into hers. “I’m not going to torture myself anymore. Besides . . . seems like you’re doing it enough for the both of us.”

“Asshole.”

“At your service.” I pause. “And thanks, Blake. For . . .” For being here for Lily. For being her first real friend. For taking care of her. For calling me, not shutting me out or pushing me away. For being one of my friends, even if neither of us will ever admit it.

“Everything.”

Chapter 36

Toren

“Jesus,” Holden snaps, settling into the seat next to me after tossing the bag I stacked there to avoid him onto the floor, shoving it under the airline seat in front of me. “How the hell did you get that shiner?”

Fuck. Is it already swelling? I’d had another unsanctioned practice—LaBlanc pushing a little further, asking me to meet before the flight today. The only good thing is that my body is so exhausted I’m sure I’ll sleep through the flight.