Page 171 of Undone

Next to that is one I painted off a selfie Sadie gave to me, a couple with their foreheads pressed together, a swirling thread of white to symbolize the cord of headphones between their ears.

Then, two hands reaching for each other, the paint swirling into one as the fingertips touch. Bennett gave me one of his poems he wrote for Paloma, so I took a charcoal pencil and hid lines in the swirls of colors.

On the other side there’s another stretched canvas with brown and gold in curling tight swirls. It was fun, really, to play with the texture and achieve the perfect dimensional chocolate as the hair, then taking my time to add all the multicolored butterflies throughout the curls.

And then one nude-inspired figure of Holden, mostly from the hips up, facing away so his back takes up most of the canvas, with his golden curls and shimmering peachy skin.

And the centerpiece that’s the largest of them all, taking up most of my wall space.

It’s Starry Night, but it’s not.

It’s messy, refracted, torn up. I’d experimented with my sketches of Toren’s body that night, until I figured out a way to stretch the new version of the painting from his skin, scars and distortions and all, to make something entirely new.

And it’s perfect.

Toren arrives first, before the gallery has even opened, dressed in a sleek black button-up and black slacks.

“You look beautiful, Lily.”

“Thank you.” I blush, before stepping back so he can see the wall.

Toren walks forward to me with a bright-eyed look, before he focuses on the art and stills.

Face melting to something more inquisitive as he takes in each piece, I step around and behind him to watch him view the different works.

“This is . . . Lily,” he says, his voice awed. “Is that my tattoo?”

I nod, cheeks brightening happily at how quickly he realized it. I’d bet he knows who each of the pieces is dedicated to.

The entire collection is called On Happiness. Because the entire concept has become something new in the last six months. I don’t think it’s bad for people to make me feel happy. And with finding the new family that surrounds both Toren and myself, I’ve found something more beautiful and special than I ever thought I’d get to have on my own.

Maybe I am the spitting image of my mother, but this isn’t her story. And maybe I can understand that it was hard, scary even, for my father to watch me sink into nothing. But being scared doesn’t mean you can hurt other people.

I wish things were different. I think a part of me always will.

But this is just the beginning of my life, choosing the path myself. Choosing life and love.

Toren’s eyes are bright as he looks down at me, before pressing his hand over my head and pulling me close, tilting my face up to his and picking me up off the floor to kiss my mouth.

“Do you think they’ll like it?”

Toren laughs. “Are you kidding? They’re going to love it, Lily Kane.” He tucks me in tight for a hug, spinning me around again before finally putting me on my feet.

I don’t miss the slight emphasis he sneaks into my new last name, but it means he caught where I’d signed each painting with a looping L and elegant K for our family name. It feels good, to belong to him in that way, the way we both always pictured as children. I was determined to find him again, but I wonder if he ever thought he’d actually have that dream.

“You saw, huh?” I ask.

He kisses my temple hard, keeping me tucked into his side as we look back at the wall. “I didn’t miss a single detail. I’m so fucking proud of you, Lil.”

“I love you,” I say back.

“I love you more,” he says, pressing another kiss. Then another. He spins me back to look at my own work, looping his arms low around my hips, slouching to sit his chin against my shoulder. My left one, more of a habit for him than for my hearing, since I wear my hearing aid more consistently now.

“My wife. You and me.”

A smile blooms like happiness in its purest form, even if it’s just for a moment, it’s beautiful and warm and free.

“Forever.”