Page 147 of Undone

With my sketchbook back on my lap, I sit at the edge of the bed and sketch him slowly. The length of his body, the width of his shoulders even broader with the way his arm is resting over his eyes lazily now.

The tattoos he spent most of his life inking into his skin, for me. And the lily flowers he hid there. He got the first one directly over his heart the day after we lost our virginities to each other.

And now he’s covered in them.

My chest tightens as I inspect the newer ones—paintings, yes, but more lilies too. Even when we were apart, he still longed for me, like I did for him.

• • •

An hour or so later, Toren stirs, his voice deep and heavy with sleep.

“Lily?” he calls, sitting up slightly on his elbows. I look up, sheepish, like I’ve been caught. Like he can see through my notebook as I clutch it close to my chest.

His eyes glance over me, from my hair, across my face, to my position near him, and the expression he wears can only be described as bliss.

“Yeah?”

This time his smile is something boyish and warm. Softer. More vulnerable.

“Marry me.”

Chapter 56

Toren

“What?”

Her eyes are stark wide, so blue and so beautiful.

“Marry me, Lil,” I say, smile only growing.

It’s warm here, lying in the softness of her sheets, the gentleness of her care over me. She’s not touching me, and it feels like she’s back inside my chest, where she’s always been. Guarding and protecting me.

That’s the part people can’t see. They see me, then Lily—the tiny awkward red-haired girl at my side. Maybe they think I’m overprotective or intense. But the reality has always been that she’s the one who protected and took care of me.

Without her, I often wonder how far I would have made it.

Not in life. But alive.

I’d been hurting, a deeper pain that wasn’t just physical anymore that day in the garden. It felt never-ending and no one had ever shown me how to handle it. All I had was Henry and hockey—and it was like I’d had them both ripped from my grasp. Gone.

The physical hits after felt like nothing. I barely noticed the blood or blooming bruises; but Lily had.

Lily had seen something else then, I was almost sure of it. And the pink bandage she placed on my finger then was more than that. She was pouring color back into my life with every word from her mouth, making it easier to remember that I was just a kid.

Just a fucking kid.

Maybe it’s wrong to be so grateful about every horrible thing that’s happened to us both, but I can’t bring myself to regret any of it, when she’s here, watching over me again, tending to my wounds again. And drawing.

“I want you to marry me. Please, Lily.”

She stands, tossing her notebook and pencil down on the floor, and slowly, carefully perches herself next to me, very careful of my injury.

“Really?” she asks, vulnerable and soft.

My hands snake into her hair, one thumb on her chin, one rubbing along her plush bottom lip. “Really.”

Her eyes well and she nods. “Yes, please.”