Page 69 of The Fee Entail

In the end, I had to admit one thing to myself, though I would certainly never say it to my cousin. Mrs Reynolds was right: Darcy was the best of masters, and I only hoped I could do as well on whatever small estate my family selected for me. Darcy was very guarded about exactly where said estate was, though.

The trip to Kent took some days, and Darcy continued the lessons apace with hardly a break. He wanted to be certain he had done all he could before he met his Elizabeth, probably correctly surmising that he would be entirely worthless as an instructor when she was present or even within the same county.

I occasionally bludgeoned him into other conversation.

“Darcy, you are clearly in love with Elizabeth. How do you plan to dispose of her husband?”

Perhaps that question was on the blunt side, but once said, it could not be retracted.

He looked pained and finally said, “I cannot break a confidence, but suffice it to say that Elizabeth does not intend to wed again once he dies. His death will come soon enough, and I will deal with it after that, but I have a long uphill climb in front of me. For the moment, I will do nothing but try to take care of Elizabeth to the best of my abilities.”

I watched him carefully for another moment to see if there was more.

“Aunt Catherine and I plan to purchase you an estate, but that is not the primary reason for teaching you to be a landowner.”

This was news. He had been extremely reticent about his sudden interest in my health and happiness. He had never spoken about them before, probably because he correctly surmised I would not listen.

“Pray, enlighten me.”

He stared out the window for a moment. “I have money aplenty but lack time. I need an heir for Pemberley, but I also need Elizabeth, and I am not certain she even likes me. She certainly did not a week before the attack. In fact, she despised me more than your Charlotte dislikes you, if you can comprehend such a thing. She disliked me for good reasons, and I had just barely begun to work my way out of her brown books.”

He seemed pensive, but I let him think a few minutes more.

“I need time… time for her husband to die… time for her to… well, I will not discuss that. I need time for her to be healed, and if a man’s love can make the difference, she will have all I have in me and more, but all that takes time.”

He paused, but I could tell he was just thinking, so I held my peace once again.

“I need an heir, but as Elizabeth pointed out in some detail, and no uncertain terms—” He even flinched at that one, so it must have been a most uncomfortable conversation. How had they ended up in such a fraught discussion?

He finally came back to his point. “I cannot leave Pemberley at risk for thirty years. I need an heir now.”

He stared at me as a sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach, and for the first time, I wished I was back with lunkheaded Frenchmen shooting at me. At least I knew how to deal with that.

“You are to be my heir. You are to stand in my place should I fall, until such a time as my son is worthy of replacing you, or yours or Georgiana’s son, should it come to that. I need time for my love to heal wounds, and I am requesting, though it is a lot to ask, that you give me that time. That is the price for your independence, and I know it is heavy, but I will ask it anyway.”

Much to his credit, he did not plead, or argue, or discuss once he made his request. I had known in some vague way that there was a chance my brother might not survive long enough for his son to take over Matlock and I might be master, but that was like being vaguely aware a storm could come up suddenly to kill you, or your horse might bolt, or a ship might sink. It may or may not happen, but the odds were in your favour, and preparing for it was a waste of time and worry.

Here, I was being asked to assume responsibility for an entire region, hundreds of people, and an entire community. I had commanded men, but that was always so immediate. We all knew we were to fight. We followed orders and either died or prevailed, or possibly something worse, but whatever we did would be over in an hour or a year. We would be victors or vanquished, whole or broken, alive or dead; but we would be done. Here, Darcy was asking me to be responsible with no orders from anyone for hundreds of children and grandchildren not yet born.

For the first time in my life, I got a true glimpse of what it was like to carry Darcy’s burden. I had seen many men carry such with the greatest of ease, but only men without a conscience. A man like Darcy would carry it at great cost.

A few minutes of frightened panic ensued, and I will not bore you with the thoughts and fears that went through my mind. It settled soon enough, and I accepted what must be, just as I had in every battle I ever fought.

“I would be honoured, cousin.”

Now he just smirked. “I only have one demand of you.”

“Yes.”

He tried to look clever, but ended up seeing some memory that just made him flinch. “You will be ensuring this generation. Should I fall, you need to take care of the next. You need a wife, and if you cannot win Miss Lucas, you need another. Neither of us can be as lackadaisical about it as we have been thus far.”

I stared him down. “You need a wife just as much. Tell me a date—perhaps one year from today—when, if you have not secured Elizabeth, you will bow to the inevitable, and I will agree to the same.”

He simply reached across and shook my hand.

We had one year.

Broken