Page 23 of The Fee Entail

“Why me?”

“I am not the only confidant here. You are now my most trusted adviser. Only you speak the absolute, unvarnished truth without prevarication, guile, or expectation. I will depend on your wise counsel, should you decide to give it.”

Once again, the man completely baffled me, but since this was only the latest of the baffling changes in my life, I decided I could work it out later.

“I am at your disposal. Perhaps one day we may call each other friends.”

He simply smiled. “Yes, perhaps.”

I poured more tea and was happy to see my hands did not shake. By all rights, I should have been afraid of him, but I had lost my fear of nearly everything some time ago.

“You have given me a lot to think about, and I appreciate it,” he said ruefully. “I cannot express how much I appreciate it, but suffice it to say your advice will almost certainly change my life. However, I noticed you also managed to deflect us from your problem at hand. Are you averse to returning to it?”

“Not really. I need some time for reflection, but I assure you, we will return to the previous subject another day. We are by no means done with the discussion.”

“Are you not the one deflecting now?”

This time, I had no reaction whatsoever to the assertion that we would talk another day. I was correct that he must leave me, but he did not have to do so today. Since I had just practically flayed him alive over his character, I believed I must now address mine.

I knew not if it was my shocking language or the matter-of-fact way I discussed such a delicate topic that bothered him; but I could clearly see his face falling as I spoke. I was puzzled by this, as all I had done thus far was state the obvious. Was it possible he did not even understand how it was done, or had never participated? A man of his station would have ample opportunity for such delights. I knew for a fact that Wickham regularly indulged, and I always assumed most men in the first circles did.

“You asked if I understand the particulars of what I am about. I have consulted women who know these things; more than one, actually. I know how the act is done, and forgive me if this sounds arrogant, but getting male participation should not be at all difficult. I know at least five farmers’ or tradesmen’s sons who would happily do the honours. I do not think poaching so close to home will be to my advantage, so I shall go a bit farther afield. I do not foresee any great difficulties. I am told boys take to the activity with very little provocation. My mother had five children in eight years, starting nine months after her wedding almost to the day.”

He seemed to take it all in, then asked in his usual forthright way, “You mention sons from trades. Why sons? Why tradesmen?”

He seemed genuinely curious, and I thought it might be useful to get the opinion of an intelligent man, so I outlined my thinking.

“It cannot be a married man, for obvious reasons. I still have some honour left. For older men, that leaves single men past marriage age, who are as likely to be rakes or otherwise unsuitable as anything else. I want a child, not the French disease. I want a boy, so I need not share him.”

My forthright discussion of the risks seemed to shake him even more. I did not know if it was the actual risk or my discussion of it that was most troubling, but he was certainly troubled.

“That means I need a young man. A young man may enjoy the act for what it is, and he will not trouble me for more than I can give. I may even need more than one, as that would make the likelihood of success greater, and would also confuse the parentage should the question arise later. That means I will need a few tradesmen’s sons. It is simple if you have thought about it as much as I have in the last few days.”

He shook himself. “Why not a gentleman? For example, why not me? I am convenient and proven discreet.”

His revenge was now complete, as I was shocked into silence for several moments. The very idea of him in particular had never even occurred to me. It was practically unthinkable. Not the kind of unthinkable as to bring a level of disgust, but so unthinkable the idea never even came close to my mind.

However, I had thought about using a gentleman and discarded the possibility early on.

“To be honest, I never even thought about you. It does not seem the kind of thing that you could do, and… well… I do not think of you in that way. Also, based on our earlier discussions, you have other places where such efforts should be directed.”

He looked ready to say something else, which I had no desire to hear, so I quickly rushed ahead.

“I discard gentlemen for a few reasons. The first is that lower-status younger sons are easier to find. I know at least five that are suitable just in this parish, but I do not know a single gentleman that could do the honours unless I returned to Meryton and engaged one of my childhood friends, a prospect with its own rather obvious drawbacks.”

Again, he wanted to interrupt, and I rushed to get the rest of my thoughts out, giving him the hardest stare I could.

“Even had I thought of it, I could not ask you because you are a powerful man. Could you allow your natural son to be raised by another without a word from you? Would you allow a question to arise about the most proper heir to Pemberley when you have one older natural son and another legitimate one? Could you resist the temptation to intrude on my life, as some would think is your right as the boy’s natural father? If I did this with any gentleman of your status, or any gentleman of means at all, I would be beholden to and in fear of them for the rest of my life. It would have all the drawbacks of being married with none of the benefits.

“The other reason I reject gentlemen is that I want to walk away from the natural father and never see him again. It would be unfair to ask a young man to give up his chance for a proper family just for a tumble, and they need never know either my goals or the results. They will perform the office with no harm done. With a gentleman, particularly one of means, I would have to worry about him interfering in my life.”

I took a deep, shaking breath.

“I beg of you not to take this wrong, but as the most powerful man I know, you are assuredly the last man in the world I would wish to have an illegitimate child with.”

With that emphatic declaration, he just nodded and went back inside his own thoughts, so I left him to it for a few minutes, then cleaned up the tea things and bid him to return to Rosings. I doubted very much that we were done with either conversation, but we were certainly done for the day.

I had endured all I could take, and he looked like he had as well.