Page 74 of If They Knew

“I say we do it. I agree with you, Sara. This is a matter of survival. His body can feed us today and keep us alive for at least another week,” I say, walking to the door.

“Don't do it,” says Chris as he rushes past me and blocks the door. “You’ll all regret this. I promise.” I ignore him and push him out of the way. He falls to the ground, and I open the door, unable to control my hunger any longer.

47

MARY

Almost an hour later, Kelly and I stand back and watch as Theo and the rest of the group push their way outside and drop to the ground. I was only able to hold them back for that long by explaining that the body needs time to cook before they eat him.

Currently, they’re all surrounding his body like vultures. Xander fills a bucket with snow and dumps it all over Cyrus' body and the firepit. The water sizzles and steam rises as the fire goes out. Unable to hold back any longer, Xander and Theo pull the body off the firepit. Each one grabs a body part and sinks their teeth in. Kelly and I both scrunch our noses in disgust as each person pulls their head back and the meat is ripped off the bone. Heat and steam rise in the cold air with each bite. The sound of chewing and swallowing fills the silence.

Kelly starts gagging and runs to the back of the room. When I look over, vomit spews from her mouth. Chris gives up and runs outside to join. As soon as he opens the door, the smell of meat wafts inside again. I fight the urge to run outside with him, even though my stomach is telling me to eat. I focus all my energy on Kelly and run over to her, dropping to the floor beside her. Gently, I rub her back, understanding her reaction. She looks up at me, then out the door to the group, and her eyes go wide. She turns back and vomits once more.

“Honey, they're starving; it's a survival mechanism at this point. Try not to look or think about it,” I say, hoping it will help Kelly and convince me not to give in to the temptation.

I will sneak some of the saltines I stashed in the medical bag when no one is looking. I have to keep telling myself this, or else I know that I will give in.

“I know, but how… how could anyone eat another—” she doesn't finish her sentence. “Even if I were starving… I couldn't bring myself to do that.”

“You say that now, but if you were truly starving, I think you just may consider it.” I pause and let out a deep breath. Thankfully, the smell of Kelly’s vomit is overpowering the smell of the meat, making it easier for me to focus on her. “You have to realize that you've been eating, so your body and mind aren’t in the same state as the others. To them, they're imagining what they're eating is something else,” I say, unsure whether what I'm telling her is actually true but hoping it is.

“Yeah, you might be right,” Kelly responds. After a brief pause, we turn to face the group as they each stand. As the group moves toward us in the medical center, Cyrus’s body comes into view, and I gasp. My mouth drops open. His body is nearly picked clean of all the tissue. They each walk back in and take a seat on the ground in the center of the room. Kelly and I both keep quiet. Kelly walks away and grabs a sheet to cover her vomit. Then she stops and stares at the ground, almost like she is lost in thought for a moment. When she turns back to me, she gives me a strange look. Almost like she wants to ask me a question.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask, confused.

“Nothing,” she says quickly, then looks away.

“It must be something. What’s wrong?” I ask. My gut is telling me that Kelly is holding back as she nervously fidgets in place and looks away once more. “You can trust me, Kelly. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's okay.”

“No, it’s nothing, I promise.” She goes silent for a moment, then smiles a fake smile. “I just wanted to say thank you for helping me,” she says softly, and I can hear a slight tremor in her voice. But before I can say anything else, she walks away. I keep my eye on her as she walks over to Tyler. Before she gets to him, she glances back and catches me staring. She turns back around quickly, and when she reaches Tyler, I watch her frown and squeeze his arm, almost as if she’s scared. And for the life of me, I have no idea why.

48

KELLY

“What's wrong, babe?” asks Tyler as I do my best to pull him closer to me, so that Mary can't see me.

“I can't believe you just did that,” I say, disgusted. He doesn’t say anything. I look over his shoulder and notice Mary is still staring at me.

“Don’t look now, but I think Mary is hiding something,” I whisper.

“What do you mean?” And just like I told him not to, he turns around to look at Mary.

“I told you not to look. Now she’s going to know I’m talking about her.” I glance over Tyler's shoulder one more time and feel a bit of relief when Mary is no longer staring at me and talking to Karissa instead.

“What makes you think that?” Tyler asks, pulling my attention back to him.

“I can't talk about it here,” I say quickly. “Get Sara and meet me in the atrium.” As soon as Tyler starts to protest, Theo clears his throat, pulling everyone’s attention to him. He stands in the center of the room, wiping his mouth. It grosses me out, and I take shallow breaths to keep the bile in my stomach from rising again. He glances around at everyone, and I follow his line of sight, watching in disgust as the rest of the group all do the same—wiping their mouths and licking their lips.

“What just happened was necessary; we did it to survive. If you feel guilty, remind yourself of that. Repeat after me: we only did that to survive.” I stay silent while the rest of the group repeats his words before he continues. “No one ever needs to know about this. No one needs to speak of what happened to Cyrus. I want to move his remains to the atrium and we'll tell everyone that he wanted his bones kept for his family. As for Brent and Megan, we’ll tell the police it was suicide. Do I make myself clear?” No one responds. “I said, do I make myself clear?”

The entire room jerks at the force of his voice, and everyone responds at once, “Yes.”

“Why don’t we just toss the bones overboard and then no one will ever know?” I ask.

“Because I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean, we ate him. Let’s at least have a little respect and give the remains to his family,” answers Theo.

“I'll move the bones,” says Tyler. Everyone turns to look at us.