Page 20 of A Rake’s Gamble

“No.”

Giving Adam permission stuck on his tongue, a rough sharp tasting morsel. “But you told me your name in Lord Toddington’s garden.”

“Yes.” Adam’s dark brown eyes were endless pools and Theo couldn’t work out what Adam was thinking. On anyone else, he’d assume Adam was sad, but he couldn’t be certain. He swallowed away the resistance in his throat.

“Please call me Theo.”

“Theo.” Adam purred his name and sent gooseflesh racing over his skin. This was why he’d never be able to resist Adam; they simply belonged together in ways that Theo didn’t understand. For a short moment he couldn’t even recall why they were here talking, or what they had been discussing, but of course, the brief respite didn’t last and it all came rushing back.

“Why do you think you haven’t been honest?” With Theo or with himself. Did it really matter? Remembering the distrust between them was an effective way to get rid of those vestiges of desire that lingered.

“When I discovered who you were, I told myself it didn’t matter, because it was just a few kisses. I told myself I could resist you and I wouldn’t kiss you again. I told myself that I didn’t have to tell you what I’d done to your father, because I wasn’t ever going to see you again.” Adam shook out his hands and wiped them on his thighs. “And every time I saw you, I immediately forgot that I shouldn’t want you. I let lust take over, and then I’d lie to myself again. It didn’t matter that you didn’t know, I’d tell myself, because there was no chance that I’d kiss you again. But all it took was seeing you. Each time, I wanted you more, and pretending that this wasn’t going to break me, break us, became harder and harder to do.”

Was this the truth or just more lies? What did Adam want to get out of this? Why couldn’t Theo stop assessing everyone for potential calculations?

The door opened and a footman walked in carrying tea, followed by Theo’s sister Carlynne.

“Carlynne. I’m busy.”

“With?” She flicked a glance at Adam, and then blinked. “Mr Milnes of Rent a Rake fame?”

Adam stared at Carlynne with an interested expression as if assessing whether he should agree with her statement, then he nodded politely. “At your service.”

“Good. I don’t know why you are here meeting with my brother, unless it’s to find him an heiress, but I am need of your services.”

“Carlynne.” Theo didn’t know what to do with this abrupt interruption. He’d been so close to discovering what was happening between him and Adam, and now his sister had taken over. He wanted to stomp his feet and tell her to wait her turn, but of course he didn’t. Even an Earl knew better than to argue with an older sister.

“Lady Toddington needs one of your solutions. She is about to turn thirty and have full access to her own money and now her brother is attempting to marry her off to one of his cronies so they can maintain control.”

“An old familiar story.” Adam walked over and held Carlynne’s hands. “And this Lady Toddington? Is she a close friend of yours?”

All the fight went out of Carlynne’s shoulders and Theo couldn’t help but be impressed at how Adam managed that with one simple question.

“Yes. We had plans to travel together.”

“Then travel you shall.” Adam glanced at Theo with a glint in his eyes and Theo suddenly understood what was going to happen.

“I shall marry Lady Toddington.” Theo knew, deep in his heart, what Adam had been saying and what he had done with the estate’s money. If he married, not for love, he could help someone have a safe life and he could be with Adam without the gossip that came with being an unmarried bachelor and a sodomite.

“And perhaps then the newly wed couple will need to travel to New South Wales to examine your land holdings. With your sister as company and your business associate to advice you, naturally,” Adam said, and for once his smile wasn’t sly or tempting or evocative. It was simply joyful and Theo couldn’t believe how simple it could be.

“I was actually thinking about Italy,” Carlynne said.

“Carlynne. Invite your friend to dinner. Let’s make this happen.” Maybe his sister could be happy too.

“Only if she can have full access to her funds without you taking them.”

Well that didn’t solve the estate’s problems, but perhaps it didn’t matter. He’d sell his father’s horses and that might keep the banks at bay for long enough that he could figure out how to make something useful from Rosewood Estates.

“Yes.” He needed to move before he exploded with all the competing energies thundering inside him. “I will see you for dinner.” And with that, he left the room and headed out into the wintery weather to run until he couldn’t run anymore.

Chapter 14

Christmas Day 1814

In the end it had been simple. A special licence had been procured. Society had celebrated the nuptials of Lord Milnes-Wilkes and Lady Emily with a grand ball at the Toddington town house on Christmas eve, and now Adam stood in Theo’s bedroom watching his lover get undressed. They’d spent the last week together, getting to know each other now that they’d resolved what Adam had done. With Theo’s permission, Adam had invited his friend Nobbie to help Theo go through the account books and now they had a plan for restoring the estate to a point where it would self-sustaining again. Watching Theo’s methodical nature over this week had been fascinating. He was so different to Adam who relied on being able to charm people with his smile and good looks, and who was aspirational out of necessity.

“When we wake it will be Christmas Day.”