Page 50 of To Protect

ChapterTwenty-Two

By the time they arrived at Nottingham Castle, it had been dark for some time.

Matilda’s retinue finally arrived at the safest stronghold until London. A fortress among fortresses, its lord a strong supporter of the future queen who had already agreed to supply men for the final portion of their journey, Nottingham would provide much-needed rest for weary travelers.

Including Roland.

Though they’d not endured another attack since leaving Lincoln, bad weather had slowed their travels and made moving Matilda’s coach from place to place more difficult. She had volunteered to abandon it and ride on horseback, but her men refused the offer, saying the coach provided more protection.

And so, it had been slow going, the threat of another attack imminent. They’d stayed one night at an abbey, another in a small village that had been secured and the others as guests of minor barons. None had provided Roland the opportunity to seek out Amalia privately. Tonight, however, was an exception. Nottingham was much larger than the others, and all the men were given beds within the castle walls. At the meal, though she sat with Matilda, serving almost as a second lady’s maid to her, Roland had been able to speak to Amalia long enough to learn where her private bedchamber was located.

It was that chamber he sought now.

Since the attack, Amalia had not been herself. More withdrawn than usual. It concerned him enough that he’d asked her, on the rare moments they’d been able to speak privately, if something was amiss. She had said little, and by the time they arrived at Nottingham, he had become convinced ’twas more than remnants of unease from the attack.

Knocking at her chamber door had him unsettled. Roland would rather face all the Flemish mercenary’s men alone than have Amalia hurt in any way, but their quick exchanges had left him feeling that he’d somehow done just that.

She opened the door.

He resisted scooping her into his arms until it was closed behind them. He’d hoped to reassure himself all was well, but Roland sensed the opposite. He’d been about to kiss her, but instead, he pulled away and looked into Amalia’s eyes.

Ignored the fact that she wore only a shift and that he had thought of little these past days except Amalia moaning his name as he pleasured her.

“Tell me, Amalia. I can sense something is amiss with you. Is it the attack?”

She bit her lower lip.

Roland let her go completely. They needed to speak, and he could not think clearly with her so close.

Though not as large as her chamber at Lincoln Castle, Roland having bribed the steward into giving her the room, this one was well-appointed. Her time spent with Matilda would likely have Amalia treated well on this journey, and he was glad for it.

If we married, she would always be treated as such. She would be a lady. His lady.

Roland vowed to apologize to Gareth the moment he saw his friend again. He’d teased him for wanting to marry so quickly, but now Roland understood.

So this is what it is to love a woman?

“Amalia?” he repeated when she did not answer.

“Nay,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I do not feel unsafe when you are around, despite the attack.”

He almost wished she had said “aye.”

“But something is amiss?” he urged.

She sat on the edge of the canopied bed, looking defeated. “The empress noticed our . . . affections. The day of the attack.”

Roland was not surprised. He was certain the discipline he’d honed over the course of his life, one he prided himself on, was not as present when he was with Amalia. He’d found himself glancing her way as they rode far too often.

“Did she say something to you?”

“She did.”

It only took him a moment to fully understand. Roland sighed. “Tell me.”

“She said you would never be free to marry me.”

First Lady Elara, and now the future queen of England. God save him, but there was just one way to convince her. And Roland would do it . . . would fetch the priest now and take Amalia as his wife, but that would surely be the breaking point in his relationship with his father.