Page 40 of Homewrecker

“What thing?”

“Punished yourself for it. You literally stopped smiling because another woman made him laugh.”

“I don’t care who makes him laugh.”

“I didn’t say you were jealous.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“That you always do this. You let yourself want something for half a second, then immediately remind yourself why you don’t deserve it.”

I looked away. “Klair.”

“I’m serious.”

“Not here.”

“Okay. Fine.”

Wanting another relationship still felt greedy sometimes. My mind always went to Ravenna. She had lost her marriage, and I had helped. So maybe I wasn’t supposed to get one. Maybe that was the balance. Caleb got to move on because that was how the world worked. Men survived scandals differently. But I was supposed to know better.

I had grown up watching my mother survive women like me, and still became one. So every time something good came close, some part of me whispered the same thing.

Don’t get comfortable.

Don’t start believing this belongs to you.

Women like you don’t get clean love stories.

My phone buzzed, and I looked down.

Nash: Just making sure the number wasn’t fake.

A smile pulled at my mouth before I could stop it.

Another message came.

Nash: Also, for the record, my divorce decree is public record. Since I know that matters to you.

I laughed.

Klair leaned over.

“What’d he say?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re smiling.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

I read the message again, then typed.

Blair: Good. Saves me a search fee.

I stared at the screen. I liked the easy conversation. A man who was available. No wife somewhere, no hidden life, no guilt attached to answering a text. And instead of enjoying that, my chest filled with fear.