Page 222 of Homewrecker

“Likely.”

“I’ll annoy Klair.”

“Almost certainly.”

“Eat badly.”

“Hopefully briefly.”

“Come in here looking like shit.”

“I’ll pretend not to notice.”

I smiled. “And eventually…”

I looked at the letter. “I’ll be okay.”

Sydnee smiled. “There she is.”

I sat back. “That doesn’t mean I want to experience it.”

“You don’t have to want pain.” She shook her head. “But you cannot require a guarantee against pain before allowing yourself to experience joy. Blair, the goal of the last two years was never to make sure no one could hurt you again. It was to help you trust yourself enough to know that if someone does, you won’t abandon yourself trying to keep them.”

Everything she said was true. I’d hurt myself trying to keep Caleb. Ignored myself. Betrayed myself. Silenced myself. Made myself smaller. Accepted things that went against everything I claimed to believe because losing him felt scarier than losing me.

Nash wasn’t Caleb. I wasn’t that Blair anymore.

Sydnee tapped the letter. “You already survived the version of heartbreak you once believed would destroy you. So enjoy Nash.”

I laughed softly. “That’s your professional recommendation?”

“Go on dates.”

“Okay.”

“Have fun.”

“I do.”

“Have sex.”

My eyes widened. “Sydnee!”

She shrugged. “You’re an adult.”

She laughed. “Fall in love if that’s where it goes. And if it ends? Then it ends. You’ll grieve. You’ll be sad. You’ll probably come in here and get on my nerves.”

“Wow.”

“And eventually, Blair, you’ll live.”

I looked at her.

“Because you did it before. If you came out of that, you can come out of anything.”

I reached for the letter and I ran my thumb over the envelope.

“Can I take it?”