Page 128 of Manic

“Do not run from me,” he said.

I stilled, my heart squeezing. It was more of a plea than a demand as something more settled behind his eyes. I was afraid to question what it was, but the mansion ran through my mind—the hint of pain and heartache in his expression before we left.

For a brief moment, if it were possible, I felt whatever love he had for me. I held onto that feeling, refusing to let it go.

“Okay,” I whispered. “I won’t run.”

He sighed, our foreheads touching before he pressed another soft kiss to my mouth. Manic pulled back and swiped his thumbs over my jaw.

“Now what?” I asked.

“That is a really good question.”

32

MANIC

Ten days.

I had ten days left until I handed Sutton over, each one weighing heavier as they breezed by. I told her four days ago that I’d re-negotiate on her behalf—convince my father not to hand her over to Dmitri, but I knew how that conversation would go.

Ronan would question my concern, and he’d send her off sooner than planned. There was only so much I could tell her—my way of keeping her unaware—and so I twisted the truth. It was better this way. Even though I hated lying, handing her over seemed like the only option at the moment.

I hated lying to her.

Every time I didn’t want to do something, hated the thought, I’d narrowed the unfamiliar feeling down to guilt. It clawed at my chest now, and if I didn’t leave soon, I wouldn’t at all.

I pulled on a hoodie while Sutton slept, careful not to disturb the air. As shadows spilled across her face, something in my chest pulled tight. Like my lungs fought for air, and I couldn’t breathe.

She wouldn’t believe me if I told her, but fuck, I loved that woman. Although it hurt to know she might never believe me, I would spend my entire life proving it to her if she allowed it. She was more than a fix for my problems, she was my entire life. Someone I wanted to give the world to.

I rubbed my chest, though nothing resided beneath my ribs. No pressure, just a dull ache I couldn’t get rid of. Other than the heaviness of my father’s demands, that incessant pressure for violence never returned.

It was always her.

To my fucking surprise, Sutton made me want to become a better man—to leave all this behind without a backward glance. For good. The need to escape had always been there, even when I watched her, but Sutton made me want to live. She was home to me. I just needed to figure it out, but I was running out of time.

Just as I turned for the door, the sheets stirred.

“Manic?” Sutton whispered.

I stopped short, damn near melting at the sound of my name. I’d spent my life hearing confessions and pleas from all my captives. I’d listened to them begging for their lives as my knife found their flesh—each of their pleas sweeter than the last as their pain released that unbearable chaos trapped inside me.

But none were as sweet as Sutton’s voice, soft and fractured, as my name fell from her lips like a sacred prayer in the middle of the night. She fucking ruined me.

Despite how hard I fought, she followed me into every corner of my life, leaving everything tasteless by comparison. I didn’t want the world on its knees. I didn’t need to spill blood to calm my fucked-up chaos. I wanted Sutton—only Sutton—because no-one reached me the way she did. And I was terrified of how empty I’d feel if we parted ways.

I already knew I was a selfish, corrupt man, but I was determined to keep her all the same. She was mine.

“Where are you going?” she asked, bracing on her elbows as she blinked away sleep. Her hair fell into a messy curtain around her shoulders.

It was nearing three in the morning, but I couldn’t rest. Not when I had things to do and little time to get them done. It wasn’t like I could sleep, anyway. Sutton had eased that pressure, but not the nightmares that tortured me. The most I’d get was four hours, gained only by pure exhaustion.

I met her in two strides, bending to catch her mouth, and she sighed against me. Soft and soul crushing.

Fuck. I was contemplating on staying.

“Go back to sleep,” I said, brushing her hair back. “I have some loose ends to tie up.”