Page 45 of Fall Into Me

Cass stepped out of the bathroom to let another man enter and then hesitated in the hallway. He glanced toward the main room, where his friends were, trying to reason himself into waiting until later to read Ash’s text. After all, Ash had taken three weeks to get back to him; Cass could let the text go unread for a few hours. But even though that seemed like the best idea, it wasn’t what he really wanted. Frowning, he scooted a bit farther away from the bathroom door, leaned back against the wall, and clicked on the notification.

A wall of text met him.

Ash (9:42 p.m.): Hey, sorry for just disappearing like that. And apologies in advance for the length of this message, but I feel like I owe you a full explanation.

Back in mid-November, my twin sister Ashlynn passed away. It was completely unexpected, sudden cardiac arrest with no signs or warnings or anything. For all anyone knew, she was perfectly fine and healthy. As her only living relative, I became Bri’s sole caretaker and now legal guardian.

When we met in CA, I was trying to drive back home to Seattle with Bri and all of my sister’s belongings in that U-Haul. I’m forever grateful for the help you gave me, a complete stranger, even though you didn’t know my story, and I’ve appreciated getting to know you through our text conversations in the weeks after I finally made it home.

I don’t know why I never mentioned my sister to you or never told you that Bri is now legally my responsibility. Maybe it was just nice to have a “normal” interaction with someone who didn’t know.

This last Christmas was my first Christmas ever without my sister, and when I read your response to the picture I sent, I couldn’t handle it. It’s obviously not your fault, and I don’t blame you at all. I just couldn’t reply then, and it’s taken me this long to find the strength to write to you and explain.

I’m sorry again for ghosting you. It wasn’t my best moment. I hope we can chat more soon.

-Ash

So many little pieces fell into place as Cass read and reread the text—why Ash’s emotions had seemed so volatile when they’d first met, why Ash had been towing a U-Haul through the snow, why he’d always seemed to keep their conversations off Bri. After his third read-through, Cass closed his eyes and took a long, careful breath. Then he typed a short response.

Cass (9:48 p.m.): Can I call you?

Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long for Ash to text back.

Ash (9:49 p.m.): Yeah, sure, give me a minute. I just got Bri to sleep (finally!)

Cass (9:49 p.m.): K

Keeping the phone in his hand, he weaved his way back through the bar to his friends’ table. Matty and Tam seemed to be in the middle of some lively, slightly-too-loud argument about an anime Cass had never heard of, and Joe was just leaning back on the bench seat, shaking his head at them while he sipped his beer. Cass stopped next to Joe, put his hand on Joe’s shoulder, and leaned over.

“Hey, I’ve gotta make a phone call. I’ll be back in a few.”

Joe nodded. “Sure, yeah. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Cass squeezed Joe’s shoulder. “I’ll just be right outside.”

“Okay, sure.”

With a tip of his head to Matty and Tam, Cass headed out of the building, huddled up against the wall, and texted Ash again.

Cass (9:52 p.m.): Is now okay?

Ash texted back with a thumbs-up emoji, and Cass took a breath and then hit the call button and lifted the phone to his ear. It rang only once before Ash answered.

“Hey.”

The immediate whatever-it-was Cass’s heart did at the sound of Ash’s voice made him glad he was already leaning up against the wall.

“Hey. Thanks for letting me call. I thought it might be easier than texting back and forth,” he said, though he was suddenly not really sure why he’d wanted to talk on the phone rather than texting.

“Yeah, I understand. And like I said, I’m sorry it took me so long to respond.”

Cass heard Ash blow out a breath, and he frowned. “No need to apologize, honestly.” He closed his eyes for a beat. “I can’t even imagine how hard all of that must have been. Were you close to her? Your sister, I mean. If you don’t mind me asking.”

“We were, yeah,” Ash said, his voice quiet and not entirely steady. “She . . . she was my best friend, actually. It hurts so much that she’s gone and I’ll never—” Ash seemed to cut himself off with another sharp breath, and Cass’s stomach dropped.

“I’m so sorry, Ash,” he said softly. He pushed himself away from the wall and shoved his free hand into his pocket. “You’re incredibly strong to have stepped up to take care of your niece like you did. I could see how much you adored her. I’m glad she has you.”

“I think I would be even worse off without her.” There was a hesitation, then Ash added, “She’s the most precious thing. Just yesterday, she got her knees underneath herself for the first time, but she didn’t really know what to do with that, and so she did this thing where she rocked back and forth and back and forth, then she pushed too hard and totally face-planted.”