Page 37 of Fall Into Me

He’d been putting off budgeting and looking at his finances, just like he’d been putting off worrying about how the hell he was going to afford childcare. Time was running out, though; he only had another two weeks until classes started again. He couldn’t put it off much longer.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he set down the receipt and pulled his phone out, welcoming the distraction. He had multiple notifications, some from over an hour ago, which he must have missed while he was taking care of Bri. The newest, though, was a text from Shaina. He clicked, and the relief was immediate. She’d sent a selfie of her reclining back on Ash’s bed, holding Bri. Bri was obviously sleeping, her eyes closed lightly and her face relaxed and soft.

Shaina (4:47 p.m.): Not a chance in the crib, but she’s out like this. Given how exhausted she is, she’ll probably be down for a while. Can you start dinner? I was going to make Frieda’s chicken, which I hope you remember since you used to LOVE it :) The first step is just marinating the diced chicken in eggs for an hour, use two eggs

Ash (4:49 p.m.): You’re a miracle worker, seriously

Ash (4:50 p.m.): I got it, no worries :)

He busied himself in the kitchen for a few minutes to get the chicken marinating and then hesitated for a minute before giving himself permission to collapse back onto the couch—this time on his back.

He’d never felt so exhausted, although “exhausted” was quickly becoming the norm. Even after his drive down to California when he found out his sister had passed and after the multiday trip back up here to Seattle, he hadn’t felt like this. Maybe it was because he knew he couldn’t really just rest. He had too much to do, too many things piling up, and now a tiny little person who depended on him to get his act together.

So, he continued ignoring the rest of his notifications for a few minutes and did a quick search on his phone for daycare centers nearby. His head started hurting, however, as soon as he looked even a little more closely into the going rate for infant care. He was about to shut off his phone and go scream into a pillow when a new notification popped up.

Cass (5:18 p.m.): Seriously! 15 boxes and 1000 pennies!

Ash’s brain was not at all dialed in to whatever conversation they’d been having earlier in the day, and so he stared at the message for several seconds, confused, before shaking himself out of his daze and scrolling up to read their previous messages.

Ash (11:31 a.m.): We don’t have plans, really. Shaina’s parents are coming up from LA on Thursday and staying the weekend. We’ll probably go out Christmas Eve to check out the Christmas lights, we used to do that when we were kids

Cass (11:35 a.m.): Ah, have you been to see that one famous house? I know it’s in Seattle, but I can’t remember the family’s name. I’ve seen it on the news several times

Ash (11:36 a.m.): Oh, yeah, the Menashe family. They’re in West Seattle. That’s not where we used to go, but maybe we will this time. It’ll be up to Shai, I’ll just be along for the ride

Ash (11:38 a.m.): What about you? Plans? Traditions? Anything?

Cass (11:50 a.m.): Plans have changed. I thought we were just staying home, but now my mom wants to go down to Stockton to see everyone. It’s going to be rough, though. Traveling is hard on her

Cass (11:51 a.m.): Traditions, hmm, not really? My uncle used to be a bit of a prankster, so maybe I’ll get another 1000 tape-wrapped pennies inside a box inside a box inside a box (times 15!)

Ash (12:54 p.m.): 15 boxes?

Ash (12:54 p.m.): And seriously, 1000 pennies???

Cass (5:18 p.m.): Seriously! 15 boxes and 1000 pennies!

Cass (5:19 p.m.): Hardest earned $10 I’ve ever had lol

Somehow, Ash could almost picture Cass laughing, his brown eyes lit up with amusement and his smile warm and welcoming, and despite the heaviness of everything sitting on Ash’s shoulders right then, he found a tired smile growing on his lips. He bent his knees up and started typing a response.

Ash (5:24 p.m.): What did you buy with it?

Cass (5:25 p.m.): Ahhh, you don’t want to know

Ash narrowed his eyes and almost snorted a laugh.

Ash (5:25 p.m.): Yes, in fact I do

Cass (5:26 p.m.): Okay, but you can’t make fun of me

Ash (5:26 p.m.): Why is this suspense more exciting than pretty much my whole day?

Cass (5:27 p.m.): It’s not, really. It’s actually just sort of embarrassing for me

Cass (5:28 p.m.): I bought a book

Ash (5:28 p.m.): I fail to see how that’s embarrassing in any way =P