Page 31 of Fall Into Me

“Yeah, that’s it. ‘Domains of child development and how they support each other,’” Grant said, reading the header from the document on Ash’s screen.

Ash quickly scanned the notes on the page and then bit his lower lip, thinking. “So, for the introductory paragraph for this essay, I’d probably start with . . .”

With Grant’s help, Ash quickly outlined the approach he’d take for the possible essay question, and when they were finished, they left all of the study materials, both laptops, and the mostly empty pizza box on the table and headed outside to start unloading the U-Haul.

All the while, Ash managed to keep his emotions in check. He didn’t even let himself feel a thing when they finished unloading the baby stuff and moved on to Ashlynn’s belongings—boxes of books and journals, all of her finished and unfinished paintings, and stacks and stacks of sketchbooks filled with everything from simple doodles to fully realized drawings. There were clothes too—everything Shaina hadn’t wanted to keep and Ash couldn’t stand to throw out—and cookware and art supplies. Stuffed animals. Two laptops and an expensive-looking digital camera. And photo albums.

Ashlynn had been the one to keep their parents’ photo albums.

Now, they belonged to Ash. Everything belonged to Ash.

He didn’t really have room for all of it, either, not in his tiny one-bedroom apartment.

They set up the crib in the corner of Ash’s room, along with the changing table, and Shaina showed up just as they finished organizing Ash’s closet to make room for as much of Ashlynn’s stuff as possible. Baby Bri was fussy, but as soon as Ash took her from Shaina, she quieted. Her eyes closed gently in sleep not more than a couple of minutes later.

“She’s happy,” Shaina whispered, looping her arm around Ash’s waist.

Ash only managed a half smile. His heart ached too much. He rocked Bri softly and continued holding her close as he looked up at his friends. “Thank you both,” he said, keeping his voice low. He swallowed hard and blinked back tears. “I should maybe go see if I can put her down.”

Shaina squeezed him lightly and then stepped away. “And you should try to sleep too.”

He almost laughed. “I don’t think I’ve really slept in almost a month now,” he admitted.

Shaina nodded. “I know, hon.”

Grant stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels a bit. “I’ve got class tomorrow, and I actually do need to study a bit, so I’m gonna head out. You both good? Need anything else before I go?”

Ash shook his head, and Shaina stepped away from him and gave Grant a brief hug.

“Thank you for helping out,” she said.

“Of course. Anytime.” Grant tipped his head toward Ash. “Good luck tomorrow morning.”

“You, too.”

Moments later, Ash closed his bedroom door behind him, dimmed the light, and—miracle of miracles—settled the baby in the crib without waking her. Then, as quietly as he could, he slipped off his shoes and shirt and pants, crawled into bed, and burrowed under the covers.

He’d barely closed his eyes when a single, brief buzz cut through the silence of the room. With a quiet groan, he scooted to the edge of the bed and reached down to dig through the pockets of his jeans. His phone buzzed again just as he pulled it out.

Two text messages—both from Cass. He knew he should probably ignore them for now. Get some sleep, reply later. But he found himself tapping on Cass’s name anyway.

Cass (7:40 p.m.): Glad to hear it

Cass (7:40 p.m.): Have a good night :)

Ash wasn’t sure why, but he could almost hear a sort of resignation in the simple words of Cass’s texts, and that bothered him. He scrolled back up and read Cass’s previous messages and then his own short, inadequate response, and he frowned. Given the unwavering kindness the man had shown him, Ash should have at least taken a few more seconds to fully respond to Cass’s texts.

He glanced over at the crib, and through the dim light, he could just barely see his niece, her chubby cheeks plumping as she suckled in her sleep. Satisfied that maybe he wouldn’t wake her, he settled back on the bed on his side and typed a longer response to Cass’s earlier messages.

Ash (7:42 p.m.): Sorry for earlier! I was studying for a final exam I have tomorrow morning. What I meant to say was that contrary to the (very real and usually true) stereotype, the weather here in Seattle was sunny today. Cold, but not overcast or raining

Ash (7:44 p.m.): tbh, I would be quite happy with your 65 degrees, but 35 and sunny was also not bad

Ash (7:45 p.m.): Infinitely better than 20 and snowing so hard I can’t see the road =P

He paused and waited. Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait too long, and he shifted onto his back as he read Cass’s incoming messages.

Cass (7:46 p.m.): Oh, finals. Ack. What’s your major?