Page 3 of Fall Into Me

All of them except Ashlynn.

The pain rushed through him, sharp and jagged, and he trembled as he leaned heavily against Shaina, who wrapped her other arm around him to hold him.

Through bleary vision, he saw Henry stop behind his wife and set his hand on her shoulder. “I can’t imagine how difficult this is for you, Ash. But I also can’t imagine anyone more capable of caring for this baby than you,” he said, and his voice was so full of conviction, so sure, so solid and confident that Ash had to close his eyes against the overwhelming rush of whatever painful mixture of emotions hit him.

His tears came as he forced out a nod, and he let himself cry this time. He wanted to apologize, tell them he would get his act together, reassure them all that he would be strong—for Bri. But Shaina just rubbed his back and soothed him with quiet murmurs, and then he felt Joanna and Henry both step closer and pull him into their embrace as well.

Bri continued to sleep soundly, oblivious to her uncle’s grief. It was better that way, Ash knew. Better that she was so young. Better that she wouldn’t know this pain he was feeling. Better that she wouldn’t remember any of this. She shifted slightly in his arms and let out a quiet gurgle as he straightened up, sniffling. She looked so peaceful and relaxed.

He was glad for that.

A quiet knock came from behind them, and Ash turned toward the sound, his arms automatically tightening around Bri. An older woman dressed in light-pink scrubs entered the room holding a white folder.

“Hi there, you must be Uncle Ash,” she said, her smile soft and kind.

Ash could barely nod, and he clenched his jaw and looked down at the sleeping baby again.

“This is nurse Inés,” Shaina told him, squeezing his shoulder gently. “She’s been helping take care of Bri since this morning.”

He managed another nod but didn’t look up. He was suddenly more tired than he cared to admit. “I-I should sit.”

Shaina’s hand drifted down to his elbow, and Ash let her lead him over to the couch along the wall, where her parents had been sitting just moments before. He sank slowly down into the cushions, still holding Bri close to him, and then he reached up with his free hand to wipe his eyes.

Damn tears. How was he still crying? How could he still have tears after all he’d cried in the last twenty hours or so?

Inés pulled a chair over to sit closer to him, and when he lifted his eyes, he was met with her kind, understanding gaze. She gave him a sad smile. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” she said, and he pursed his lips as he tried to not cry more. Again. The damn tears that just wouldn’t stop.

“Th-thank you,” he mumbled, and he lowered his gaze to watch Bri sleep as Inés started to speak.

“I’m glad little Bri has you,” she said. “And I know this all seems difficult and impossible, but I want to make sure you know there are resources available to help you.”

There was a pause, and maybe Ash thought she was waiting for him to say something, but he couldn’t. He had no words. And his chest hurt. He closed his eyes and nodded.

“I’ve got all of Bri’s discharge paperwork here,” Inés continued, her voice low. She moved her chair a little closer to him, opened up the folder, and started going through everything.

A summary of all the tests they’d run.

Another summary of the treatment they’d given her since she’d been mildly dehydrated when she’d arrived at the hospital.

A referral for a follow-up visit in one week.

An informational handout about dehydration and proper nutrition in infants.

Another handout listing resources for support and grief counseling.

Ash listened, but he wasn’t sure how much of the information he’d remember. His brain already hurt. And he was so tired and so completely overwhelmed and so, so broken.

When Inés finished, she closed the folder and handed it to Shaina, who still sat next to Ash. “Lewis—he’s the social worker assigned to Bri’s case—he should be here any minute, and he’ll need to talk to you before you leave. There will be some paperwork you’ll have to get completed to begin the process to file for legal guardianship, but since you’re her family, it shouldn’t be an issue.”

Her only family. The nurse had left out that word. Ash was the only family Bri had.

God, he missed his sister already.

“Miss you, love you, bye!”

The familiar words—Ashlynn’s signature farewell phrase—echoed in his mind, and they were so real for a moment that it was almost as though she were right there next to him, her eyes smiling up at him as she pushed a lock of her dark hair back behind her ear.

“Love ya, big brother!”