Page 17 of Fall Into Me

“I-I can’t ask that of you,” he repeated, and he forced his eyes open and looked down at the floor next to him, where the car seat sat. Miracle of miracles, Bri was still sound asleep, her chubby pink cheeks puffing out slightly as she took an extra-long breath.

Things seemed a little steadier already, or at least, that was what he was going to tell himself. He turned his head slowly, letting his body adjust to the tilt and spin. Then he gave Cass the best totally-not-a-grimace smile he could muster.

“I’ll be okay. She’s sleeping for now, and I’ll nap while she does, and I’m sure—I’m sure I’ll be fine. You’ve done so much to help me. Really, I . . . I can’t thank you enough.”

The other man nodded hesitantly, and Ash could tell Cass knew he wasn’t really telling the truth. Still, Cass gave him a soft smile as he stood.

“I’m glad I was able to help,” Cass said.

Something flickered in Cass’s eyes then, and Cass looked away quickly, down to the sleeping infant. He laughed quietly and then knelt next to the car seat.

“She really is beautiful, you know,” he said, and then he glanced back up at Ash and smiled again. “If you need anything at all—anything—please, uh . . .”

Cass stood and turned around, then seemed to straighten up more as he purposefully strode over to the small desk pushed into one corner of the room. Ash watched, his eyes narrowed slightly, as Cass rummaged through the top drawer until he pulled out a pen and pad of paper. Then he scribbled something on the page, ripped the page off the top of the notepad, and turned back around, another careful smile growing on his face.

“My number. Just in case. Call me or text, that’s fine too. And if I can come and bring you something, help you with Bri, anything at all, I will. I’d be happy to.” Cass offered the paper to Ash, and Ash just stared at him for a moment, unable to look away. Finally, he managed a weak nod and took the paper, lowering his eyes to read Cass’s neat handwriting.

Caspian Jacobs - 530-555-7576

“Caspian, huh?”

He looked back up, and Cass was grinning now—that confident smile that seemed to make his eyes twinkle.

“My mom is a huge C. S. Lewis fan,” Cass said, shrugging. “And from what I understand, my dad vetoed Peter and Edmund. So, Caspian it was.”

“I like it.” Ash’s cheeks suddenly felt a little warm, and he dipped his chin. “I mean, it’s unique. I don’t think I’ve ever met a Caspian before.”

Cass didn’t respond, and when Ash ventured to look back up, Cass was biting his lip and staring toward the door, his hands now shoved in his pockets and his smile almost sad. But then he brightened up and nodded as he glanced back at Ash. “I actually haven’t met another Caspian before, either. I did, however, know an Ash. Back in elementary school. And the only reason I remember”—Cass’s grinned—“is because he hated milk.”

Ash’s face scrunched up in confusion. “Milk?”

“Yep. Chocolate milk, even. But his mom still packed him a carton of it every day. And every day at lunch, we’d all race for seats at his table, and he’d make up some contest of sorts to see who would get his chocolate milk.”

“That’s—”

“—silly. Yeah. This went on for years, too, although I only won once.”

“Only once?”

“Yeah. And I can’t even remember what the contest was that day.”

Cass laughed lightly and lowered his eyes, then knelt down next to Bri’s car seat, his whole expression softening. He started to reach out, maybe to brush Bri’s hair back or straighten the blanket draped over her, but then seemed to think better of it. He pulled his hand away and stood.

“You’re sure you’ll be okay?” Cass asked. His voice was gentle, but there was a hint of concern to it too.

Ash nodded, even though he felt anything but confident that was true. He shifted a little on the bed and pressed his hands into the mattress, hoping to keep himself grounded so the unnerving tilt and spin of the room didn’t return full force. “I really do appreciate the help. You . . . saved me today. And Bri. Thank you so much.”

There was another flicker—some emotion dancing across Cass’s face so quickly, he was sure he must have imagined it. Then there was just Cass’s kind, soft smile.

“Glad to do it. Nice to meet you, Ash. Be safe.” Cass tipped his head slightly, and Ash managed another weak “thank you” as Cass turned toward the door.

A moment later, after the door clicked shut quietly behind Cass, Ash closed his eyes and collapsed backwards onto the bed, completely exhausted.

And Bri almost immediately let out a quiet whimper and then another and another, each one growing a little louder. A tear slipped down Ash’s cheek, and he reached up to wipe it away as he pushed himself to sit. Then he lowered himself down to the floor next to the car seat, settled his hand gently on Bri’s chest, and started humming softly, hoping beyond hope that she’d fall back to sleep.

Dad (Thursday, December 9, 2021 – 11:49 a.m.): The power just went out. I’m going to call work and say I can’t come in today, even if they need me. I won’t leave your mom with the weather like this

Dad (11:50 a.m.): Also, it started snowing here again. Please drive carefully. Love you