Page 161 of Fall Into Me

Once they were inside the bedroom, Cass shut the door behind them while Ash moved over toward the bed. He set his luggage down on the floor just as Cass’s arms looped around his waist from behind. Lips brushed along his neck, and Ash moaned and tilted his head slightly to give Cass better access.

“So, what’s in the bag?” Cass asked between kisses.

Ash laughed lightly and shook his head. “Nothing, actually,” he admitted. “Just my pajamas and toothbrush and stuff.” Cass groaned as though in protest, and Ash laughed again as he turned around in Cass’s arms. “Sorry to tease. I mean, I did bring the other stuff, too, but I figured maybe that’d be for later in the week. It’s in my other bag.”

He expected a joke from Cass, or a laugh, Cass’s eyes lighting up with anticipation and amusement. Or maybe for Cass to spin around and take off back to the guest bedroom to get the other bag. Instead, Cass’s face flickered with that same concerning look Ash had been noticing all afternoon and evening—a look of uncertainty, or maybe worry? Cass’s arms tightened around him, but before he could ask if everything was okay, the look was gone.

Cass lowered his mouth back to Ash’s neck and kissed that spot right at the base of Ash’s throat that always made his heart race. “Are you sleeping in here with me tonight?” he asked. His lips traced another path up the side of Ash’s neck.

It was a really, really good distraction.

And it almost worked.

Except when Ash closed his eyes and saw that flicker of uncertainty in his boyfriend’s expression again.

He slid his hands up Cass’s chest and applied a light pressure, pushing Cass back slightly. “Yeah. That’s what I was thinking. I mean, if that’s okay?”

Cass nodded. “I’d love that, of course.”

Despite Cass’s words, something still seemed not right, though Ash couldn’t figure out exactly what it was. He frowned and reached up with one hand to brush his fingers along Cass’s jawline, then he leaned in and placed a slow kiss in the same spot, memorizing the tickle of Cass’s stubble and the warmth of Cass’s breath on his cheek. When he pulled back again, Cass was watching him, his small smile not quite . . . him.

“Um, I—” Ash shook his head, still frowning. “I . . . should take a quick shower, if that’s okay? And then I’ll get the baby monitor up, just in case?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Cass agreed. His hands dropped away from Ash’s arms, and he took a step backward.

Ash stared at him for a long second, unsure of what to do. Everything suddenly felt awkward, like how it’d been in the very beginning of their relationship when he hadn’t known what to do or how to act. He finally managed a tight smile and got himself to move, bending down to pick up his bag and then starting back toward the door. But just as he got there, he stopped, his hand on the door handle, and he frowned again.

“Um . . .”

With a deep exhale, he turned around. Cass was now sitting on the bed, staring at his hands, which twisted around anxiously in his lap. Ash’s stomach sank, and he shook his head.

“Something’s wrong,” he said, finally forcing out the words. “What’s wrong?”

Moments from the last couple of days began replaying in his head as he tried to narrow it down. But he couldn’t pinpoint anything. Nothing bad had happened. Nothing that had seemed unusual or worrisome. They hadn’t argued or disagreed on anything, even. But Cass’s smile wasn’t right.

Something was wrong.

Cass still stared at his hands, his jaw now tight, and seeing him like that sent another sharp pang through Ash’s chest.

“Cass?”

He stepped closer, dropping his bag back on the floor, and he watched, his stomach in knots, as his boyfriend shut his eyes but then reached out with both hands in what seemed like a desperate plea. Without hesitation, he closed the distance between them and took Cass’s hands in his. Cass tugged him even closer until he stood right between Cass’s legs. Then he rested his head on Ash’s stomach with a deep sigh, his arms wrapping around Ash’s midsection. Ash could feel him trembling slightly.

Pursing his lips in concern, Ash ran his hands down Cass’s back and made himself take slow breaths to stay grounded.

Whatever was bothering Cass, it had to be something real. Something real and heavy. But for the life of him, he had no idea what it might be. Their relationship felt strong, despite all the challenges they’d had, and Cass’s mom seemed to be doing quite well. Ash knew Cass worried about her when he was away, but . . . but he was home now and had only been gone a day and a half.

He swallowed hard and bent down to kiss the top of Cass’s head. “I-I’m sorry if I did something to upset you,” Ash said slowly. He didn’t really think he had; he didn’t think that was it. But he didn’t know what else to say or do.

Cass quickly shook his head. “No, no, you didn’t do anything,” he mumbled. “I’ve just been in my head a lot today. That’s all. That’s—” He inhaled sharply and tightened his arms around Ash as though the thought of letting him go was physically painful.

Ash hugged him back. “I don’t know what that means,” he said quietly. “In your head a lot, thinking about what?”

Cass didn’t respond except to shake his head again, and that worried Ash even more.

It had to be something bad if Cass didn’t even want to talk about it. Only, he also had no idea what could be so bad that Cass wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing with him.

Unless—