Page 138 of Fall Into Me

Cass didn’t answer; he didn’t have to. Because it didn’t matter. Bri was happy. Ash was doing an incredible job with her, especially given the circumstances, and even though Cass didn’t really know what it was like to parent a young child, he knew about being in charge of someone’s care twenty-four seven. He was certain Ash was more exhausted than he’d ever, ever let on, even in his most vulnerable moments.

“Food allergies? None, right?” he said with a smile.

Ash blinked and then laughed and shook his head. “No allergies. I’ll eat anything. Bri isn’t usually super picky, but lately she’s been refusing to eat meat—chicken, beef, pork, everything.”

“Hmmm . . .” Cass quickly ran through his arsenal of memorized recipes and then grinned. “I’ve got it. No problem.” He turned toward Bri. “Bri, sweetie, want to come shopping with me?”

The child’s eyes immediately lit up, and she jumped to her feet, knocking down all the blocks around her. “Yay yay yay! Go out! Cass go out!”

Cass grinned and glanced back at Ash as Bri came bounding over, clapping and repeating “yay yay yay! Go out!” He was watching Bri, and when she reached them, Ash let go of Cass’s hand and lifted Bri into his lap. She bounced joyfully, clapping again, and then threw her arms up around his neck and hugged him tight. It was precious and a beautiful thing to see, but though Ash smiled as he closed his eyes and hugged her back, the exhaustion he’d let Cass see earlier was still there, not well hidden anymore.

“You be good for Cass, okay, sweet girl?” Ash said, and Bri pulled back.

“Un-ca Ash go out?”

“No, I’m going to stay here and sleep.”

“Ohhhh, nap time. Nap time Un-ca Ash,” Bri said, nodding gravely.

Ash chuckled and looked down. “Yeah. But Cass is going to take good care of you for a bit, okay?”

“’Kay! Cass go out, me go out, Un-ca Ash nap!”

“Exactly. Can you go get the diaper bag for Cass?” Ash asked, and he gently lifted her off his lap and set her back on the floor. With a big, eager nod, Bri took off toward the bedroom.

Cass pushed himself to his feet and then offered his hand to Ash. “Alright, so, you just relax and don’t worry about a thing. Bri and I will handle dinner and everything. Okay?”

He helped Ash up, and Ash then slid his arms around Cass’s waist and nodded into Cass’s shoulder as they hugged. It felt like another of those deeply intimate moments that had such weight to it. Cass didn’t want to let go.

With a quiet hum, he tightened his arms around his boyfriend and turned his head to kiss Ash’s cheek. “I’ve got you,” he murmured. “You’re okay.”

Ash sucked in a breath and nodded into Cass again. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Just . . . I’m just tired.”

“I know,” Cass whispered, rubbing his hand up and down Ash’s back lightly. “I know.”

Ash took a deep breath and then another, and he seemed to let go of some of the tension he’d been holding as he leaned more heavily into Cass. “God, I’m so glad you’re here,” he said, his voice wavering.

Cass’s heart stuttered, and he held Ash tighter. “Me too. I am too.”

Shaina (Thursday, April 20, 2023 – 6:34 p.m.): Soooooooooo . . .

Shaina (6:34 p.m.): How’s it going? ;)

Chapter Forty-Three

Ash

Cass gave Ash another of those wonderful, warm, comforting hugs before he took Bri’s hand and left the apartment.

Then everything was quiet.

But the quiet wasn’t rattling or dark. And for once, it didn’t feed the monster of grief deep inside him. Instead, it felt peaceful and relaxing in a way he hadn’t known in so, so long.

He did exactly as Cass had suggested—whatever he wanted. He started with a long, hot shower, taking his time. Then he slipped on a pair of plain gray sweatpants, closed the shutters, and collapsed onto the bed. He intended to lie there for just a few minutes before maybe getting up and reading a book or something, since he was sure his brain wouldn’t stay quiet enough for him to actually sleep. But he must have been wrong, because the next thing he knew, Bri’s eager voice carried in from down the hallway.

“Me take? Me fwower?”

Cass’s voice followed, but it was too muffled for him to hear the words. Not more than a few seconds later, Bri’s footsteps came right up to the edge of the bed. Ash smiled and opened his eyes as he turned his head to look at her.