Page 130 of Fall Into Me

Cass (9:59 a.m.): I didn’t have Santa and I turned out fine ;)

Ash (9:59 a.m.): Can confirm

Cass (10:00 a.m.): xD

Ash disappeared for a while, and Cass tried to read again. He had a little more luck this time and managed to make it through a few chapters, even as his mind kept distracting him, fluttering in scraps of thoughts here and there completely unrelated to the book. Some were very much inappropriate to be thinking about while in the car with his parents. Others, tangentially related, were jumping him four months forward, to whatever his weekend with Ash would look like.

They were all quite pleasant distractions, even if he kept having to read the same page over and over.

By the time they exited the freeway, Cass had put his book away and was on his phone, planning for April.

Cass (Sunday, December 25, 2022 – 8:43 p.m.): We’re just leaving now, and it’s about a three-hour drive. Should I still call later?

Chapter Forty-One

Ash

Ash’s apartment was quiet; the Wallers had left hours ago, Bri was asleep in the bedroom, and whatever loud, raucous party a neighbor of his had been hosting down the hallway had finally, finally ended. Ash himself was exhausted. The day had been nonstop—waking up to Bri’s excitement about Christmas morning, having to keep her occupied until the Wallers showed up, dealing with the meltdown she’d had over Henry’s attempt to play Santa Claus, and then everything else that followed. They’d stayed at his place nearly all day, Shaina and Joanna taking over his kitchen to cook the most amazing Christmas dinner, and they’d watched movies, entertained Bri, eaten, talked.

Being surrounded all day by the closest thing he had to family had been exactly what he’d needed, even if it made the silence now a little difficult to exist in.

As he lay down on the couch and closed his eyes, he fought against the feeling that he was completely alone again and the grief that wanted to overpower him. He forced his thoughts back to earlier and all the little, wonderful, joy-filled moments from the day. Moments where he’d not only felt surrounded by love and been able to talk about his sister and parents with the Wallers but where he’d been able to laugh and smile as he remembered her, even if there was still a deep sadness around it.

“Merry Christmas, Ashlynn,” he said out loud, and even though she didn’t answer back, he could feel her presence, like she was right there, tugging him up off the couch to hug him with all the enthusiasm she always had. “Miss you, love you . . .” He shook his head and sniffled, then said, “Bye.”

And he let out a long, slow breath as his body seemed to release some of the tension he’d been holding in his shoulders. A tear slipped down his cheek, but just one, and he almost managed to smile against it.

With another breath, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. The time read 1:29 a.m., though he still had no new notifications. Cass was supposed to text when he got home, which probably should have been about an hour and a half ago. Frowning, Ash typed a short text.

Ash (1:30 a.m.): Hey, everything okay?

Cass (1:30 a.m.): Yeah, sorry

The quick response didn’t tell him anything, and he sat there for several minutes waiting for the phone to ring or for another text to come through. His gaze drifted, landing on the last of the unwrapped packages under the tree. Bri had opened her present from Cass earlier, and she’d been so excited about the book—some adorable story about an otter named Ed—that she’d made every single person, Henry included, read it to her. Ash had taken video and sent it to Cass. Ash’s gift, however, still sat there, unopened.

He set his phone down on the coffee table and pushed himself up off the couch, then padded over to the tree and picked up the medium-sized package. “It’s not much,” Cass had told him when the package had arrived on Thursday. He’d immediately responded that he could guarantee it was more than he’d ever gotten from a boyfriend before, and they’d both laughed.

His phone buzzed, and he glanced over to see the screen lit up with an incoming phone call, Cass’s name on the display. He brought the box over with him and set it on the coffee table as he sat and lifted the phone to answer.

“Hey, I was getting worried,” he said quietly, settling back into the couch cushions and closing his eyes.

“Hey, yeah, sorry.” Cass sounded winded or something, and Ash frowned.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, really,” Cass reassured. He let out a sigh, and there was a sound like his bed squeaking. “If you’d believe it, we actually hit traffic on the way home. There was an accident involving a big rig, and the whole freeway was backed up for miles. Mom was already sleeping, so it didn’t stress her or anything, but we just got home maybe ten minutes ago.”

“Ah, yikes. She’s okay, then?”

“Yeah. She had a wonderful day. I, uh . . . I’m almost scared to say it, because I don’t want to jinx anything, you know? But she seemed better in a way today.”

“How so?” Ash opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling.

“Hmm, well . . .” Cass’s voice sounded deep and low and sleepy, and Ash pictured him snuggling into his bed, resting his head on his pillow as he pulled the covers up over him. “A bunch of little things, I guess. The way she spoke, how much she ate, how long she spent outside, watching all the kids play on the back lawn. I dunno.”

There was something in Cass’s words that tugged at Ash’s heart, and he smiled and closed his eyes again. “Sounds like a good day.”

“Yeah, it definitely was. Except one thing.”