Page 97 of Pursuing Desire

Ethan leans forward in his chair. “You expect us to believe that nothing happened between you two? All those nights you were together and all that chemistry we just saw. Yeah, right. If I were a smoker, I’d need a damn cigarette after watching that.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Believe what you want. Why would I care what you believe? Makes no difference to me. Jess isn’t my type, and you know it.”

Jake leans back on the couch. “What is it that Shakespeare said about doth protesting too much?”

The credits start rolling on the screen, and my shoulders sag in relief. Not only can I finally get these two out of here, but I no longer have to feel my heart rip to shreds whenever Jess’s face comes on the screen.

I look pointedly at Jake. “Who the hell quotes Shakespeare? Anyway, the show is over. You two assholes can go ahead and leave. I have a date coming over.”

Jake hesitantly stands up but doesn’t make a move toward the door. “Does the name of your date happen to be Jack or Daniel’s?”

I raise my hand and point. “The door is right over there, Jake. Let me know if you need help finding it. And don’t you dare go back to your place and badger Jess about this crap. Leave her alone.”

Jake picks up his keys and wallet from the table. “I don’t need to ask Jess about any of this. You can bet that Lana has already figured it all out. My wife has a way of ferreting out all the juicy secrets. There’s obviously something going on between you two. If there weren’t, you wouldn’t be so secretive.”

I know that all I need to do is crack a joke about Jess or the trip, and both of my brothers would laugh it all off. I wish I could make myself do it, but I can’t. I may be upset and hurt by her, but I can’t turn Jess into a joke.

Ethan stands up and follows Jake to the door. Before leaving, he turns and frowns. “You know, you can talk to us. Maybe we can help. You know, we’ve both been here before. Woman troubles suck.”

“The only woman trouble I have is picking out which one will share my bed tonight. So, if you don’t mind . . .”

The lie makes my insides twist, but at least it gets rid of my brothers. They leave without saying anything else.

As if I have any interest in another woman right now. I’m not even interested in my two dates for the night, Jack and Daniel’s. I stroll right past the minibar and head to my bedroom. At least there’s one place I might be able to get some peace.

Except I don’t get peace. Instead, I lay back in bed and replay the show on the big screen TV across from my bed. I spend the next hour reliving the trip and trying to remember every detail of our time together.

Chapter 21: One Month Later

Jess

The car pulls up to the curb at the exact time I was promised it would be here. The driver gets out of the front seat and comes around to open the door for me. As I jump into the back passenger seat, I mentally brace myself for yet another stressful day.

I close the door, buckle my seat belt, and plaster myself as close to the door as possible. Not once do I look at the man sitting next to me, not even when he raises the partition that blocks us from the driver.

“Not going to say hi?” he asks in a sardonic voice.

“We’re going to be doing enough talking later. Why waste the energy with small talk right now?”

“How are we going to pull off the loving couple act if you won’t even look at me?” Dax asks.

My gaze rests firmly on my hands. “We’ve managed pretty well the last three weeks. I’m sure we’ll get through this last day of the press tour just fine. Let’s just do what we came here to do, then we never have to see each other again.”

“Except for the live grand finale.”

I shrug. “Yeah, except for that.”

As has been the case for the last three weeks, the ensuing silence is tense and uncomfortable. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to remember a time when I wasn’t jumpy and nervous around him.

He’s not the Dax I know. That guy is gone, and instead, I’m left with someone who pretends to be Dax. He cracks jokes at all the right times, but it’s different. There’s no depth or feeling to his words. No warmth.

He thinks I refuse to look at him. In truth, that’s all I can do. I eat up every minute we’re together. When he’s forced to hold my hand at the press conferences, I tell myself that he still feels the spark, too, even though it’s obvious he doesn’t. His cavalier attitude toward me proves I made the right choice in breaking things off. He moved on quickly while I was still wallowing in the loss of a relationship that never even started.

I’ve tried to turn off my feelings, but I’m so in love with him that I can barely breathe at times. Love isn’t supposed to be suffocating. It’s supposed to be freeing and amazing and all the wonderful things you dream of.

I’m exhausted.

Broken.