Page 4 of Mine After Midnight

For the first time in a long time, I decide to carry her memory with me instead of letting it weigh me down. I leave the park behind, heading toward Tess and Elodie’s apartment, the anticipation of seeing them replacing some of the heaviness in me.

When I reach the building, I hesitate for a moment and draw in a steadying breath. I wonder if I would be living here with them if I’d never left. They buzz me in and after a short elevator ride up, I’m at their flat. I knock, and almost immediately, the door swings open.

Tess is there, hair in a messy bun, wearing an oversized hoodie that looks far too big – I fear it might be the recent ex-boyfriend’s hoodie.

‘Bryn!’ she exclaims, stepping forward and pulling me into a tight, warm hug.

Elodie appears in the doorway behind her and leans casually against the frame. ‘Yay! You’re here!’

‘I wouldn’t miss it,’ I say.

Elodie’s grin widens, and the tension I’ve been carrying all day begins to melt. Tess squeezes my shoulder lightly before she steps back to let me in. I follow them into the apartment. It’s a little chaotic. There are half-empty wine bottles and glasses scattered across the counter, clothes thrown over chairs, and a pile of text-books that looks at risk of toppling over with a breeze.

Tess drops onto the couch dramatically. ‘How are you?’

Elodie plops down next to her. ‘We haven’t heard from you in ages. What’s new?’

I sink into the couch across from them, letting my shoulders relax a fraction. ‘You know, work mostly. Nothing very exciting to report.’ I shrug, keeping it vague. I don’t really like talking about myself.

Tess wrinkles her nose. ‘Busy, huh? Doing what?’

I can’t help a small smile. ‘Honestly, nothing exciting. Sorry to disappoint.’ I lean forward, resting my elbows on my thighs. ‘More importantly, how are you, Tess? What happened with Liam?’

Tess lets out a dramatic groan. ‘We’re done and I’m over him.’

Elodie raises an eyebrow. ‘Don’t be fooled, she’s been crying non-stop for the past week.’

Tess flops back into the couch, exasperated. ‘I’m devastated. I thought we were going to get engaged soon, and now he’s blocked me on everything. All over, just like that.’

I wince, understanding all too well the raw intensity of heartbreak. A different kind of heartbreak, but I know the pain well enough. ‘That’s brutal,’ I murmur. ‘I’m so sorry, Tess.’

She twists the tassels of a couch pillow in her hands. ‘I know we’re only young, but we were supposed to have this plan, a future together, and now it’s just gone, like it never mattered. All because “I’m not feeling it anymore”,’ she says, using air quotes. ‘And now his best friend has returned from overseas and it looks like he’s having the best time of his life. He’s posting stories constantly, out at parties, on a trip, at a festival. All things I wanted to do with him, but he could never be bothered.’

‘She stalks him from a fake account,’ Elodie supplies.

‘It’s actually her fake account, mind you,’ Tess says.

‘Well, I never liked him. Not sure if that makes you feel better or worse.’

Tess’s jaw clenches at the comment, but she doesn’t reply. I reach over, brushing her arm lightly.

‘I’m really sorry, Tess. That must have been an awful conversation to have, especially if you were blindsided by it.’

Tess exhales, finally meeting my eyes. There’s a flicker of vulnerability in her expression.

‘Thanks, Bryn. It’s nice having you here.’

I give her a small smile. Surveying the apartment, I think about all the moments I’ve missed here, and wonder if I should have returned sooner. I’ve been lost for years; being here could have made me feel like I belonged somewhere again. Being back with my two best friends.

He could also be here …

I push that irritating thought from my mind, refusing to open the folder and explore it any further.

Tess sighs. ‘Ugh, I just feel so stupid. And angry. And sad. I can’t even figure out which emotion I’m supposed to feel first.’

‘You can feel all of them,’ I say gently. ‘You don’t have to sort it out right now. Just feel whatever you need to feel.’

Elodie smirks. ‘See? That’s why she’s the sensible one. She’s always been the voice of reason, even when we were teenagers.’