Page 53 of Wolfhaven

“Thus paving the way for me.”

Evaine laughed for real this time. Gareth was so unbothered by her indiscretion, it made her see things in a different light. Though it had been a disaster for her at the time, seeing it through his eyes made the weight of her mistake less burdensome.

“The worst part is that he didn’t have the balls to tell me himself,” she went on. “I found out when their engagement was announced. We had a screaming row about it. The whole school knew I’d slept with him by day’s end. All my friends dropped me immediately. The atmosphere at Girton became so poisonous that I felt I had no choice but to leave. All these months, I’ve allowed Gran to feel like she was the burden but half the reason I dropped out was to escape my own cowardice and heartache.”

“What an ass. He cost you dearly. Did they at least blame him for his part?”

“Of course not.”

Gareth’s eyes were dark pools now. His breath was coming faster. She squeezed fractionally tighter and increased her pace. He was close. Right on the cusp of coming in her hand.

“Did you at least love him?” he managed to grit out.

“No. I liked him, but I wouldn’t have called it love. I thought it could grow into a love match with time. But it wasn’t passionate.” Not the way I feel toward you. “So, now that I’ve told you I’m a fallen woman, I suppose you will feel entitled to do the same thing. Sleep with me and cast me aside. If I were to let you, which I won’t.”

“Evaine, I understand. We’ll stop here.”

“I don’t want to stop. I suppose I’m worthless forever now. The only way I’ll ever be considered marriageable is if I lie about what happened. But here is the thing, Gareth, I don’t want to marry a man I have to lie to.”

“You told me the truth.”

“And you stopped.”

“You said you wanted to.”

“The opposite. I want to finish what we’re doing right now. I…still want to see you tonight. I don’t want you to discard me like a used tissue when it’s over. That’s all.”

“Are you asking me to marry you?”

“No, of course not. You don’t want marriage either. You’ve said as much since we met.” she asked, praying the hope didn’t come through in her voice. They were two strangers taking advantage of their isolated location to alleviate their loneliness together for a time. She knew this wasn’t leading anywhere permanent. Why, then, did a miserable part of her want that more than anything in the world?

She wanted his scarred face and his half-healed heart, his dark secrets and his living, breathing flesh.

Chapter 26

Gareth

“Let me make you come,” Evaine whispered, and he was lost. So lost. Drowning in her eyes of sea and sky, so close to breaking from her touch. She might think she was a fallen woman or whatever ridiculous idea that bounder—and all of society, frankly—had put into her pretty head, but she was perfect in his eyes.

He’d been falling for her since the moment he’d strode into that yard and seen her all damp and disheveled as she split logs. She fascinated him. Her boldness stood in stark contrast to the way she tried to conceal her doubts and fears. He knew what it was to live with secrets that haunted you.

They both knew what it meant to live with ghosts.

Again, he closed his fist around hers and stroked. Faster. Harder. Showing her the way he liked to be touched. Her soft fingers curled around his shaft. With feminine instinct she pressed her thumb along the underside of his cock. A few strokes like that and he was caught in an all-consuming wave of pleasure. Blinded. Gasping. Spilling sticky fluid all over her hand. Getting the mess on her skirt.

When his climax had subsided, they stared at one another. An uncertain smile flickered over Evaine’s face. He met it with a chuckle, which prompted her to sigh and tuck her dark head into the crook of his neck. Gareth laid back with his head propped on his bent arm, holding her close.

“I have never wanted to go to bed so early in my life. What time do you think it is? Four? Can’t be as late as five.”

“Difficult to say. The rain makes it seem later.” She yawned. Indeed, the rain pattering against the windows and the storm cloud darkening sky gave Gareth the sense that they had slipped into a place outside of time. They lay together for a long time, taking comfort in the simple pleasure of touch, until Evaine sighed and said, “I suppose we should go and make dinner, if Gran hasn’t started it already. I doubt she stayed in bed this long.”

She sat up with her legs over the side of the bed and buttoned her shirt. He admired the long fall of her dark hair over her shoulders for a long moment before he rolled up and began reassembling his clothes, too.

“When I do make love to you, Miss Ballard, it will be in a properly made bed. With sheets. Pillows, too.”

“Presumptuous of you, Your Grace,” she said, teasing. He adored her sharp retorts and casually unserious insults. He could fall in love with her so easily, if he wasn’t careful. That would upend all of his plans. He couldn’t promise her any kind of future.

She hadn’t asked him to. Yet.