Page 31 of Incarnate

A frantic energy hums through the tether that connects me to the Dominus of this Realm as I contemplate visiting the Godless. Can he sense what’s about to happen?

Why am I even entertaining this at all?

When I was sweeping the front stoop, I came across the most peculiar object…

A small seashell.

I sit at the edge of my bed, the sun having just set as a cold wind blows through the cracks in the walls. In the palm of my hand is the little shell that I’ve been transfixed by for the last hour; meanwhile, Judica tells me we’ll leave shortly for the Godless meeting.

It’s sat in my palm long enough that I’ve even began mentally tracing the lines of my skin. It’s like I’m pressing up against the deepest crevices of my mind where my true identity lies, the seashell a tiny window that’s fogged over.

I can tell there’s something inside of me, an ancient knowledge and life. A whole existence I no longer have access to.

What if… what if I was a goddess of the oceans?

Something stirs inside that’s coming from myself, demanding that I make my own way here in the Underworld. Judica absolutely feels familiar, but what if she isn’t my true friend? What if she hated me in a past life and is sacrificing me now?

I can’t blindly trust Kallúm, either. Clearly, I did leave and become a human. That’s the only fact I can hold onto that’s mine.

I slowly raise my gaze to the window, rubbing my thumb over the shell in my hands.

The ocean.

I need to find the ocean. I need more salt water, or something.

Once the idea enters, it claws fast and deep. So much that I’m dressing for the cold weather, grabbing a wool cloak and thicker boots. Once dressed, seashell in my pocket, I stand there as if waiting for something to happen to confirm this is the right decision.

It’s just silence and what little free will I actually have.

I open one of the side windows with the roof directly outside it, the slope leading toward the alley behind the shop instead of out onto the main street. The wood creaks and jams as I open it, making me cringe in case Judica can hear. Cool fall air gently blows inside, a few wet leaves on the shingles. Sticking my head out, my eyes widen when I’m face to face with a wooden owl staring right at me, knocking my head on the window when the owl turns into smoke.

I don’t wait, not bothering to see what that’s about when I hear footsteps in the stairwell. I move quicker until my body slows to a halt, half out of the window.

“What are you doing?” Judica asks from behind.

I cannot do anything more than slightly moan, as if my entire body has gone stiff against my permission.

“I had a feeling you might try to flee.” My body starts to move back into the home without my permission. “While free will is essential, Penelope, I do need you to attend this meeting with the Godless.”

Now, I am face to face with a stern woman, my throat capable while the rest of me can’t move. “This is a trap!”

She raises a dark brow. “We’d better hope it’s not. Whenever you can access Nara again, that would be lovely. I know she would approve of what I’m doing.”

“How are you controlling me?” I ask, starting to freak out that I can’t move anything else.

“The ring,” she says, as if it’s so obvious it’s embarrassing to her.

My eyes strain as I try to roll them, my breathing increasing as I feel the weight of the metal on my finger. The desire to call for him is so great that I wonder if he can feel even that, despite the constraints…

The tunnel descends for what feels like an hour.

Judica leads, a small orb of pale light hovering above her palm. The walls start as carefully carved stone until they morph into raw rock, like we’re entering a piece of the Underworld that’s been forgotten.

I have no control over my body, of course.

I’m not quite sure how to explain that I’m too far in shock to fully process what’s happening in my life. There are layers of fear and concern, all overshadowed by the incredulity of it all. It’s hard to have a firm sense of panic when everything is happening to me, all so swiftly, too.

Judica remains quiet most of the way.