Page 94 of Face Off With Fate

Everything she said cut straight through the excuses I’d been stacking up, leaving me raw.

“I’m not going to bring women around her, Mom.” My voice came out louder than I’d intended—louder than I’d ever raised it with her.

She frowned, but there was no anger in it. Only sympathy. “I’m talking about you, Josh. You haven’t let a single person close to you in five years. Now someone comes along that you clearly have strong feelings for, and you’re going to walk away from that?”

I tipped my head back, needing to break eye contact. “But what if she leaves Goldie?” My voice cracked on the words.

What if she leaves me?

“How do I let someone into my daughter’s life without any guarantee she’ll stay?” I shook my head, feeling the walls go back up. “No. We don’t need anyone. Look at you—you raised me on your own and you were incredible at it. I never wanted for anything. And now you’re here for Goldie, too. We’re fine. The three of us.”

The cool wood of my desk did nothing to settle the heat in my palms or the churn of everything I was trying to bury. The tears pooling in my mother’s eyes didn’t help.

“Momma…” I started to get up.

She stopped me with a raised hand.

“Oh, Josh.” She exhaled slowly. “My not talking about how hard it was raising you alone might have been the right call when you were a child, but it didn’t do you any favors as an adult.”

I sank back into my chair, thrown.

“You don’t think I would’ve loved having a partner through all of that? Someone to lean on when I was exhausted or unsure? Someone who wanted to protect you as much as they wanted to protect me?”

An image surfaced before I could stop it—Graciella stepping in front of Vincent without hesitating. Sitting cross-legged on the floor with Goldie before bedtime.

My mother’s voice pulled me back.

“I will always be there for you two. Always. But I want to be Goldie’s grandma, not the only woman helping shape who she becomes.” She reached across the desk, her hand covering mine. “If you have someone who wants to be there for her—for you—then you’d be an idiot not to go after her.”

Fuck.

She was right.

THIRTY-ONE

GRACIELLA

GIRL, JUST GIVE IN.

Me:

Read this over and memorize the responses

Monroe:

I love it when you bark orders at me like that

Me:

Oh, the irony in that statement

Monroe:

When are we going to talk about it?

Me:

I don’t know what you’re talking about…