Page 141 of Face Off With Fate

“Chella.” Her voice was soft. “I was there. I saw the way he looked at you. I know he’d understand. Just talk⁠—”

“Itze.” My tone was harsh, seeped in desperation. I couldn’t hear those words. Couldn’t hear that I should “just talk to him.”

A sob clawed its way up before I could stop it.

“Every time I thought about telling him, I heaved. I actually threw up.” I picked at my thumb out of habit, but it had been bare since Saturday night. “It sounds so fucking obvious to just talk until you’re the one in that position.” My voice cracked. “My heart is already broken and maybe…maybe I want to try and retain the little bit that’s still there by leaving on my own terms.”

The rumble of the road under tires was the only sound filling the car for a long moment.

“I’m not trying to make this harder,” Itzel said, breaking the charged silence. “And I understand what you’re saying, I do, but…do you actually want to run? Or are you doing it because it’s familiar?”

My chest cracked, open and raw, the truth daring me to stare it down and claim it was a lie. I looked at the road, losing myself in the white dashes disappearing under the hood, wishing I could disappear, too.

But do you really?

I pressed my lips together.

When had running become my default? When did it become that whenever things got too real, too close, too much, I hit the emergency exit without thinking twice?

My dad. The job in Dallas. Now this.

My throat tightened until swallowing hurt.

“I did the right thing,” I said, but it sounded more like a question. “I did what I had to do to protect him.”

“I know you did.” Itzel risked glancing over. “But you can do what’s right for him and still decide what’s right for you. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.”

My eyelids fell shut, pushing over the tears pooling at the corners.

I could find my way back to a desk, a strategy, a client who needed me. That part of my life was replaceable. There would be other jobs. Other chances to prove myself.

But there wouldn’t be another Goldie, pressing her sticky hand into mine.

There wouldn’t be another Josh, holding my face and telling me he’d keep my secrets.

Those I couldn’t rebuild somewhere else.

Those only happened once…

And I was leaving them behind.

My eyes flew open.

“Turn around.”

Itzel blinked. “What?”

“Turn around.” I twisted toward her in the seat. “Take me to Monroe’s house.”

She stared at me for a second and then smiled, giving one quick nod before moving toward the exit ramp.

“His interview is probably ending soon,” I said, thinking out loud, my brain already running the logistics. “He’ll probably go home after. Practice was earlier⁠—”

“He’ll be home. Or will be soonish,” she said, a small smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth.

“What…” I narrowed my eyes. “You were never going to take me to the airport, were you?”

She merged onto the exit ramp. “I was going to take you…but I wasn’t going to let you get on that plane. Just like Ariella won’t let him wonder where you are.” She glanced at the screen on her dashboard. “You changed your mind quicker than I’d planned for, so we’ll probably beat them there.”