Page 64 of Stay Little Fighter

NOW

Idon’t know what I expected to feel watching them with her.

Aside from the road trip from heaven and hell, I’ve gone out of my way to avoid watching them touch her, because my jealous streak has always been a mile wide when it comes to Chloe.

Even seeing Ronan with her when we were teenagers tested me in ways I could never admit at the time. It was like my body and mind couldn’t handle the idea of someone else touching her.

And yet here she is, spread open like a fucking buffet that each of them is enjoying, and the jealousy I prepared myself for is nowhere to be found.

Instead, there’s guilt. I’ve never felt quite as unworthy as I do right now, and it keeps me rooted in place.

Every now and then, I give my cock a hard squeeze. I’m too fucking pent up, and Ronan’s dirty talk isn’t helping matters.

Neither is the front-row view of how her pussy clenches every time one of them says something to her.

It’s maddening, and I almost wish I felt the jealousy I expected.

Surely it would be preferable to the way my stomach rolls.

I don’t deserve to be here.

I don’t deserve to watch her, let alone touch her.

And yet I can’t bring myself to leave.

I’m a selfish bastard for staying, but I already knew that about myself. I’ve always been selfish as hell, but usually I can put Chloe first. I can put her safety and happiness above my own selfish need to make her mine.

Just not this time, it seems.

She reaches out to me, her hand trembling as she waits for me to go to her, but indecision weighs on me. Not because I don’t want her, because she’s all I’ve ever fucking wanted, but because she deserves so much more than someone that has hurt her repeatedly over so many years.

What gives me the right to put my filthy hands on her?

Hurt flashes through her pretty green eyes, the same ones I’ve dreamed of every single night since I was a kid. Even when I tried to convince myself I hated her, it was those eyes that called to me in the dead of night, those eyes that pulled me through the darkest of days.

And my hesitation is putting hurt in them.

I bring myself to the edge of the cushion and hope that’s enough to settle the rejection that stares back at me.

The last thing I want to do is hurt her, but I need to work my own shit out before I touch her. I just have to make it quick.

“Damon.” My name on her lips almost breaks me, but I hold steady.

If I do this, there’s no going back.

This is me accepting sharing the only woman I’ve ever loved with three other men.

This is me giving up everything I’ve worked for so I can keep her forever.

If I let myself have the only thing I’ve ever truly wanted, it means starting over.

And it’s the easiest fucking decision I’ve ever made.

Almost like she knows the moment I make the choice to come to her, a slow smile tugs at her lips, mischief dancing beside the worry.

Every now and then she gets this look in her eye that tells me the menace she hides from the world is about to step out from the shadows, and I wait with bated breath to see what she’s cooking up in that beautiful mind of hers.

Her swollen lips part. “I want you to crawl to me.” Her voice is even despite how worked up she is, and I just about fall off the couch to comply.