Page 80 of Diary from an Inked Throne

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DAX

Dear Diary,

I was just trying to apologize. But things escalated.

Iflinched as Luca slammed the door at the top of the basement stairs.

I closed my eyes and screwed up my face. “Fuck.”

I didn’t want to see anything. I was well aware of exactly how badly I’d just fucked up. But opening my eyes and having it confirmed in Lynx’s eyes was like being punched in the gut.

He didn’t say anything. But he didn’t need to.

“I’ll clean up this mess.” He squatted on the floor and grimaced at the dead body that needed dealing with.

I swallowed thickly, and with no idea what else to say or do, I offered my help.

Lynx's eyes found mine. “I think you’ve got something else you need to do first.” They slid to Nyah. “You too.”

Nyah scrubbed her hands over her face. “Don’t look at me like that, Lynx,” she moaned. “Even though I deserve it.”

We both deserved the quiet judgment Lynx was handing out.

He shrugged. “No judgment. But you might as well have kicked the guy in the nuts. You know he didn’t kill Virginia. And you know your father deserved that bullet. He did you a favor, and you threw it back in his face with a distrust I thought we were over.”

We were.

Luca and I had been locked in that fucking church basement for so long, only each other for company. We’d grown close. Closer than I’d ever been with any grown man. I’d told him things I’d never even told my dad or my brothers.

I just wanted to know who to blame for my mother’s death. I just wanted to blame someone other than myself.

And I’d fucked up and taken it out on someone who really didn’t deserve it.

I stared at the ceiling, hoping Luca was up there somewhere and not storming out the door, never to be seen again.

My heart throbbed at that idea. That he might leave and never come back.

I instantly knew I couldn’t handle another person walking out of my life. It had nearly killed me when I’d lost Nyah. Losing my mother and son had been yet another stab.

I couldn’t lose the man who’d become a brother to me.

No, more than that.

A partner. A friend. A confidant.

Guilt ate away at me for the accusations I’d made. For the fact I’d held them inside me, unspoken all this time, only for them to come out at the worst moment.

Nyah moved toward the door. “I need to go find him.”

I caught her hand. “Let me go first. I…I owe him a bigger apology than you do.”

She stared up at me and then eventually nodded. “Okay.”

I could tell it hurt her to say it. Could tell she so desperately wanted to go find him and make her own amends. But she pushed up on her toes and brushed her lips over mine.

“He’ll forgive you.”