Page 120 of Diary from an Inked Throne

It was understandable, even after everything, Nyah might want her mom around.

James, done with his meal, closed his eyes. Nyah moved him from her breast carefully, tucking a pacifier into his mouth when he grumbled a little.

She looked up at her mom. “Do you want to hold him?”

Constance seemed shocked that Nyah would offer.

She nodded quickly. “I very much would.”

She put the teddy bear down on the edge of Nyah’s bed and lifted the baby from her arms.

Part of me wanted to cross the room and snatch him back. But that feeling wasn’t just about Constance. I felt like that any time anyone other than the four of us touched him. It was something I needed to get over but was probably going to take months of therapy.

Instead, I shifted to sit beside Nyah on her bed, putting my arm around her and squeezing her reassuringly because I knew having her mother here had to be confusing and emotional for her.

Constance stared down at her grandson. “He’s so beautiful, Nyah. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

She glanced around the room, at Lynx and Luca sitting in uncomfortable chairs at the foot of the bed, and at Isabella watching Constance warily from the seat nearest the window. Then finally back at me and Nyah.

She handed the baby back to us. “I owe the two of you an apology. For the role I played in keeping you apart. I can see now how big a mistake that was.”

Luca muttered something I suspected wasn’t very generous or forgiving.

Lynx kicked him in the shin to shut him up.

I cradled my son in my arms, his mother’s skin warming my other side.

All I could feel was content.

This was all I’d ever wanted. The two of them.

Though Luca and Lynx rounding out our chosen family was a nice bonus.

But forgiveness wasn’t mine to offer. It was Nyah’s.

She touched her finger to James’s palm and watched his tiny hand close around it. “How could you?” she asked her mom, a touch of bitterness creeping into her tone. “You nearly cost me all of this.”

It wasn’t entirely fair. The things Enzo had done weren’t Constance’s fault. But at the end of the day, hers and Jeremiah’s decision to sell Nyah to Carlos was what had set all of this off in the first place.

Constance tried to school her expression into something neutral, but she couldn’t. The sadness and hurt was there all over her face. “The only excuse I have was that I’d already walked that path. I’d been sold to your father, mine not caring or asking my opinion on the matter because I was fifteen years old and just a girl whose wants and needs didn’t matter. It was what happened to all the girls in my circle. My friends. My cousins. None of us liked it, but we’d been brought up not to complain. To just do our hair nicely, wear makeup, stay pretty so our husbands didn’t look elsewhere.”

Nyah’s expression matched her bitter tone. “And instead of wanting more for your daughter, you thought pushing her down the same road was a good idea?”

Constance’s shoulders slumped and she sighed heavily. “No. I never thought that, but I also had no power to stop it. And filling your head with ideas that you could just seemed foolish. It was a recipe for more hurt. I don’t expect you to believe me, but everything I did, I really did think it was for the best. Carlos was such a lucrative match for you. He was even handsome. The other men making offers to your father were in much lower standing, not as rich, not as handsome.”

Nyah sighed. “Mom…”

Constance held out her hand. “I know. It doesn’t make a difference. I should have tried harder. Fought with your father more…”

Nyah shook her head. “We both know it wouldn’t have made a difference.”

Constance nodded. “I like the sound of your women’s center. I would have run, back when I was first sold, if there had been somewhere to run to. Or maybe I would have gone there for support after you and your brothers were born. Maybe someone would have shown me what it meant to be a good parent, and not just one who went along with everything her husband demanded.” She swallowed hard. “Maybe I wouldn’t have turned into a woman who tried to keep her daughter from the man she clearly loves.”

Nyah squeezed my thigh, but her words were for the other woman. “The only problem with that would be I never would have met them.” She nodded toward the end of the bed, where Luca and Lynx sat silently, letting the mother and daughter have the time they needed.

Nyah raised a shoulder. “And I love them too. I can’t even imagine a life without them in it now. If I could, I know it wouldn’t be as happy as the one I’ll have with them in it.”