Page 29 of Snowed In with Benefits

Beau follows my lead. “Okay, I’m moving slowly.” The deer’s ears flick in his direction, but it’s still staring at me.

“Maybe work silently,” I continue in my stream of consciousness soothing baby talk. “I’ve got its attention, I think that’s best, don’t you? I know you do, Mr. Deer. You’re a pretty boy, aren’t you? Just the prettiest little deer to ever get stuck anywhere, right Mr. Deer?”

Beau has crept up within reaching distance. I firmly control my voice, keeping all of my nervousness way, way down where the deer won’t notice it. Animals are sensitive creatures, sensitive to emotions and intention, and wild animals are no different, apparently.

I barely see Beau move when he snatches the deer’s head. He’s got his arms wrapped around it and he’s holding both antlers in his hands, his powerful arms keeping its neck still and its head bowed. The deer screams—I didn’t know deer could scream—and violently kicks its back legs.

“Wire cutters are in my pocket,” Beau says, still in the same soothing tone. “Can you get under us and start cutting?”

“Yes, I can.”

Beau keeps murmuring to the deer. It stops struggling after a moment, apparently resigned to its fate. Moving slowly, I reach into Beau’s pocket. It’s a moment of necessary intimacy, but I keep it as brief as possible. Holding the wire cutters, I kneel next to the fence, viscerally aware that there’s nothing but Beau’s strength and a bit of wire between me and certain injury.

“Keep talking to him,” I say in that sing-song tone, my voice quivering slightly. “I just need to get in here…” Beau picks up where I left off, narrating what I’m doing to the deer as I’m doing it.

“She’s got one wire cut. You felt that, didn’t you? Now she’s cutting the other wire.”

I slip and the deer tries to bolt. Dodging out of the way, I realize just how steep the creek’s bank is. On this side of the fence, it’s a gentle slope. On the other side, it’s a sheer drop three or four feet down. Not far enough to cause a falling injury, but plenty far enough to make it hard to work around this deer.

“I have to move around you,” I tell Beau in my deer voice. “I can’t get the other wire from this side.”

“She’s going to come say hi for just a minute, then she’s going to cut you out from the other side,” Beau tells the deer. It’s actually kind of sweet, listening to him talk like that.

I get the front wires cut, but there are wires around the back that I can’t reach. The deer vibrates like it’s ready to bolt with every move I make. There’s a solid gate a little ways down. I won’t be able to open it, but I can climb over it. It just means that I’ll be working on a ledge narrower than my feet, that’s all. That’s fine.

I tell Beau my plan. With the way the deer is hanging now that I’ve cut a bit of the fencing, its back legs are scrambling to keep it from falling backward. Not that it could fall yet, it’s still trapped, but I can see why it’s scared to fall. The creek is iced over, but only barely. I can hear the water rushing under the thin layer of ice.

“Okay, little guy. I’m going to need you to not kick me.”

“Wait. Back up.” Beau’s command holds no room for argument, and I back up before I even think to do anything else.

“You have a plan?” I ask him.

“If you get under there to cut those, you’ll be in kicking range. A deer hoof is sharp enough to kill a man if it connects right.”

“Then what are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking its antlers can’t reach us if we’re both over there.”

I look at the ledge where I’m standing, then back to him. I sincerely doubt there’s room enough for both of us. He releases the deer’s head and it immediately starts struggling again. Rather than climb over the gate, Beau straddles the fence; one knee in the snow next to the deer, the other foot firmly planted on the ledge. Then he twists, somehow getting both feet on the ledge, then straddles the bucking deer. Holding its antlers in one hand and one of its back feet in the other, Beau looks precariously close to falling.

He’s also completely immobilized the deer.

“Hurry,” he says.

I hurry. Getting down under the deer, I clip the last of the wire fencing that’s holding it in place, then untwist the bit that got twisted around the deer’s knee, and immediately move before the deer realizes that its front legs are free. I’m holding onto the fence to keep my balance.

“Done.” I shuffle to the side. Beau releases the back leg, dismounts the deer, and gives me a hard look.

“Hold on,” he says.

He releases the antlers. Instantly, the deer shakes free of the fence, bucking hard as soon as all four feet are on flattish ground, kicking the fence in the process.

My fingers slip.

My feet slip.

Before I can even scream, the ice breaks under me and I plunge into ice-cold water up to my shoulders. I hear a crash next to me and see Beau in the same predicament, although the water doesn’t go nearly as high on him.