Page 14 of Snowed In with Benefits

I’m really not prepared for this.

On the bright side, though, if the cabin hadn’t been here, I would have frozen to death. Better to walk around a chilly cabin in clothes designed for warm weather than to freeze to death in a wedding dress, right? Right.

I organize my things as best I can and start putting them away. I’m halfway done when my phone rings. My stomach drops to my toes and I steel myself. There are one hundred and fifty angry people that this could be, not to mention the wedding party and Preston himself. It rings again, jostling my nerves.

I pick up the phone.

It’s my mother.

I don’t want to talk to her. My stomach is so tight that it feels like it’s falling in on itself, and I blow out a breath. I can’t avoid this forever, no matter how much I want to. I hit the button to answer.

“Hello?”

“Josie! Where are you? Are you all right? What happened yesterday?”

“I’m…” I look around at my surroundings. How can I explain to her where I am? Worse, how can I explain who I’m with? “… I’m okay,” I finish finally.

“Okay? Really? How do you explain that? Nobody is okay right now. Preston is in shambles, we’re all in shambles! He was so brave, you know, he didn’t want to waste the reception so he threw a pity party. Literally, it was awful. What on earth possessed you?”

“I just… I couldn’t go through with it.” It sounds weak and pathetic coming out of my mouth and I can practically feel her getting ready to pounce.

“Do you have any idea how far your great uncle Richie traveled to see you get married? He’s an old man, Josie, it took so much out of him, and the shock of you running off… it’s a wonder he didn’t have a heart attack.”

“I… I’m sorry.”

She releases a sigh so heavy it settles on my shoulders. “I know, I know. I hear you, I do, I just don’t understand. Everybody is asking me questions and I can’t answer them. I was hoping you could help me understand what happened.”

“It wasn’t right.” I’m fumbling for words, trying desperately to explain myself. “I panicked. I’d been panicking all day, I just tried to push through and I couldn’t do it.”

“Oh, Josie, everybody gets wedding jitters! Your sister got wedding jitters, did you know that? She didn’t run away. Listen, people think that you’ve lost your mind. Have you?”

“No, I—I just couldn’t⁠—”

“Couldn’t, or wouldn’t? Your poor dad was standing there completely shocked. He’s been looking forward to your daddy-daughter dance since the day you were born, how could you take that away from him like this? And the wedding cake, you know how much that cost. Where’s your dress? Did you destroy it? What is going on with you?”

“I’m trying to tell you.” I can’t seem to catch my breath, I’m gulping air and shaking. “I can’t marry him. I’m sorry, but I just can’t.”

“And you couldn’t have thought about that before we spent all that money on your dress, before Preston spent all that money on your wedding? Have you even talked to him yet? The poor man is heartbroken and confused. We all are.”

“Not really, I haven’t been⁠—”

“Well, why not?”

I was trying to tell her why not, but she just isn’t hearing me right now. I just need her to understand, to listen for one minute, to believe what I’m telling her, but it feels like I’m talking to a wall.

“Because I don’t know what to say,” I blurt out before she can say anything else. “I’m sorry. I don’t. I can’t explain to him what happened, not yet.”

“Well, can you explain it to me? What am I supposed to tell Nola about why her Aunt Josie didn’t get married? She’s devastated!”

Devastated, everyone is devastated. What about my devastation?

“Mom, I⁠—”

“No, Josie, please. Just give me a straight answer. Is there someone else?”

“What?”

“I just can’t understand why you would do this. Is there another man? Is that why you ran off like that?”