Page 50 of Awakened

To my horror, the alcohol seems to have had the opposite effect.

No matter what I do, I can’t stop thinking about the Omega. Can’t stop seeing her in my mind.

I want to forget it. Forget her.

Grind the memories down to dust until there’s nothing left to torment me.

Instead, I’m blasted with the image of Idril down in the cells, fingers wrapped around the bars so tight her knuckles are white. She’s pleading, begging Dax to let her out.

Begging him not to leave her down there alone.

Of course, that changed when she discovered that she might actually be dangerous. Then she volunteered to stay down there. Even though she was fucking terrified, she offered to stay.

Then we just… Left her there.

All alone.

Curled into a ball, shivering on the cold slab of concrete, with no way to fight the cold or protect herself from the dank, chill air.

Terrified, lost, and alone except for her tears.

I promised I’d bring her a blanket, but I never did. Yet another mark against me. I just have to hope that Soren’s able to provide her a modicum of comfort.

At least she’s not alone.

I almost laugh. There’s got to be something seriously fucking wrong with me. Two hours ago I was spitting mad at the Omega, and now I can’t quit worrying about her comfort. Then to top it off, the only thing that helps is knowing her fucking Fated Mate is with her right now.

I don’t even bother finishing up in the shower. With quick, angry movements, I reach down and twist off the water, step out and snatch a towel off the rack, wrapping it around my waist.

After aggressively brushing my teeth, I shove off the counter, determined to get some sleep. Tomorrow’s a new day, and there’s no fucking way it can be worse than this one.

* * *

For hours, I toss and turn in bed. Until the sun is rising over the horizon. In the early hours of the morning, with the birds chirping and rays of light doing their damnedest to win the never-ending fight against my blackout curtains, I finally fall into a restless sleep.

When I do, I dream I’m somewhere covered in fog.

Strangely unconcerned by the mist, I find myself content to explore and end up walking until the fog starts to thin. When it parts, it reveals a field lit by moonlight.

In the middle of the field is a beautiful bird, surrounded by shimmering purple flowers that smell like home.

Despite the enchanting scent, my gaze is drawn to the bird.

It’s… breathtaking. Ethereal. Nearly pure white, with shimmering blue feathers peeking through the radiant silvery white like a secret.

It turns, and its eyes meet mine.

I’m wholly unprepared for the intelligence staring back at me.

And under that intelligence… pain.

So fucking much pain. It’s endless. Tears fill my eyes. How does anything live with that much pain?

Time stands still as we study one another. I’d swear the bird sees so much more of me than I can of it. I have the distinct impression it could see into my very soul if it so desires.

It ruffles its feathers, startling me as it spreads its wings and prepares to take flight. The feeling of imminent loss is overwhelming, and I open my mouth to beg it to stay before I realize...

It can’t spread its wings. Not fully.