Page 245 of Awakened

He’s… grateful.

Why? Because he knows he deserves to have the shit beat out of him?

Soren leans against the side of the couch and crosses his arms over his chest. There’s unmistakable approval and pride in his eyes as he watches Caelan. I fucking hate the way he looks at him. Like at long last, he’s finally found the brother he’s always wanted.

Hell. No.

I like the wolven, but he doesn’t get to swoop in, become brother-husbands with my Packmate, and kick Dax and me out of the harem before we’ve even had a chance to atone for our sins. Besides, it’s not his choice—it’s Idril’s!

Assuming she ever forgives us.

Caelan’s eyes land on mine and just like that, my jealousy disappears like it never existed. It doesn’t stand a chance compared to the betrayal and heartbreak looking back at me.

He turns his back on us, and I swear to the Fates, I whine. The first step he takes is so loud it's deafening. The second is somehow even worse. I feel our Bond crack in real time with every step, and by the time he stops in the middle of the room, my hands are shaking with fear.

His chest expands as he takes a deep breath. He exhales slowly and closes his eyes like he’s steeling himself for what comes next.

“You Alpha Commanded my Mate so often you almost killed her,” he enunciates each word, sending them soaring through the air to rip through us like bullets. Shame has crept all the way up my neck and burns below my skin. I feel so low I might seriously need to take up residence in the dirt.

“The worst part is, I still don’t even know everything that happened to her.” His voice cracks, and more tears fill his eyes. “I have no fucking clue how awful it was for her because she won’t tell me. She won’t tell Soren. She won’t tell anyone. Not because we haven’t asked. Not even because we’re afraid of pushing too hard and pouring salt in her open wounds by making her relive it—though Fates know that’s true, too.”

Caelan’s eyes brighten until they’re burning, searing into my soul. Without warning, he rips open his side of the Pack Bond.

And I’m drowning, floundering, disoriented, and confused as I struggle just to fucking exist in his pain. The pain we caused him.

Us. His fucking Pack.

His next words, though… they’re the kill shot, blowing a hole through my chest and blasting my insides into a thousand, million pieces.

“It took us a few days, but we finally got the real answer out of her. Normally, I wouldn’t share anything with you two that she’s shared with us in confidence, but I’ll make an exception just this once. If only because I think you really, truly need to fucking understand the girl you nearly broke. I want you to really, truly know her. Idril. The Omega who broke down in tears because she said she would rather relive each painful moment alone than share what happened and be the reason I never speak to my Pack again.”

He takes a single step forward, and his voice is deadly when he asks, “Do you understand? Can you even begin to conceptualize just how fucking Fatesdamned selfless that is? For an Omega you spent the last two weeks breaking, to choose to willingly suffer in silence rather than share the burden with her Fated Mates? And to make that choice not for herself, but to protect the two of you?”

Dax falls onto the couch and bends over until his head hangs between his knees. His hands tunnel into his hair, fingers yanking at the strands.

“She said she refused to let your relationship fracture because of her,” Soren adds, and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from making whatever sound is trying to rip from my throat.

Gods… I’m going to be fucking sick. What have we done?

What in all the hells possessed us to hurt that Omega? I don’t even try to block my side of the Bond like Dax does. I let all the shame and guilt and self-loathing I feel flow through it freely. I let Caelan feel it, because I don’t know what else to do. I don’t have the words to apologize. I don’t think anything I say would be adequate even if I did.

I want to, though. I want to get on my hands and knees in front of both of them and beg for forgiveness. I want to rewind time and do what I should’ve done from the start. What my instincts were begging me to do from the moment I first saw Silas carrying her limp, bruised body through the halls of Medical.

I should have protected her then. Should have stood up for her, even if that meant standing against Daxen. Even if it meant possibly betraying Caelan if Daxen wasn’t wrong.

Because… isn’t that exactly what happened anyway?

Dax was wrong. The whole time, he was dead wrong, and I was too much of a little bitch to make my own decisions. Too reliant on my Packmates making the hard choices for me. Always afraid I’ll do something to set off my Curse and wind up killing everyone I love.

“Caelan, I⁠—”

“I really don’t care what you have to say, Vae.” His tone is strong, but I can see the exhaustion weighing him down. He’s looking at us like he’s infinitely tired of being the glue that holds our Pack together, and I fucking hate that.

Soren steps up to stand shoulder to shoulder with him. The look on his face makes me squirm, like I’m ten years old about to get strapped by my sire.

“You know what I just can’t wrap my mind around?” He doesn’t let us answer, which is fair. Considering I can think of about twelve things off the top of my head that I hate myself for, and he doesn’t know about eleven of them.

“Neither of you even bothered to come to her and apologize face to face. I know you threw some formal apology at her yesterday, Daxen, but it took you how long to make even that small effort? Everything you put her through—and not just you two, I’m talking about the entire fucking compound—and only the most socially inept child who’s only managed to survive this long by pure fucking luck did the one thing we teach our pups to do before they’re old enough to shift.”